The marriage institution – Part 12

Love is defined as God at work in us. God has given us the privilege to demonstrate His love through the institution of marriage, which is perceivable in all ramifications. Love is not something we hoard, but should be expressed at every given opportunity because it involves actions. Don’t take your marital relationship for granted. You must be willing to nurture your relationship into the life, peace and fulfilment God designed for it. Your spouse is a priceless gift to be cherished. You should take each other as valuable contributors to the strength and character of your marriage, Romans 5:5, I John 4:18.

Love is the expression of our will, directing our thoughts, words, and actions towards the wellbeing of another. Love is the affection we have towards ourselves and others. God has an overall purpose for bringing a man and a woman together in marriage, but recurring negative attitude, unresolved family issues, unkind spoken words, insincerity to the commitment, lack of effective communication, keeping of wrong company, and unforgiveness are primary reasons why marriages don’t work. All these vices should be alien to our relationships, as we learn to grow into God’s love I John 3:16-18.

There are practical expressions of love in marriage, when love is the principal focus. Love your spouse. Love their person. Love is not a feeling. Feelings are like the beautiful flowers on a plant while love is the plant. Love is of the heart. Love in marriage is a combination of the romantic love (Eros), the brotherly love (Phileo) and the unconditional love (Agape). We must operate these three simultaneously, to build a stable marriage. To keep the fire of love burning in your marriage,, kindly consider the following thoughts: Your expression in words. Refrain from saying, “you are a fool,” no matter how angry you become in conversations Matt. 12:14. Your ability to respond positively, using such words as: “Thank you”, “I’m sorry” and “Please”. They must always be in your wallet of vocabulary. You consistently engage in decent, open communication without fear of rejection, expressing yourselves with no fear or intimidation. Deliberate celebration of your spouse in moments of promotions without being threatened, as well as springing up occasional surprises such as dinners, outings, and holiday time outs.

Your spouse should become your best friend, as you nurture your relationship into intimacy. Making love is not the only means of expressing love, but also engaging in other life activities together. Don’t hurt your spouse with negative words. Take time to appreciate their good qualities. There is a king and a fool in everyone, but the one you speak to, consistently responds to you. Don’t focus on perceived shortcomings. When a man’s anger gets the best of him, it also reveals the worst of him. Don’t be hasty in spirit to react and operate your home on negative vibes.
Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos and will love to hear your feedback, questions, testimonies and attend to your counselling need: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com

Be patient, forbearing and always forgiving. Prov 17:9, 18:24, Col 3: 13-14, Philip. 4:8. Your spouse is given to you as a blessing, so they must be treated as such.

Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos and will love to hear your feedback, questions, testimonies and attend to your counselling need: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com