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The Marriage Institution – Part 2

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Ayo Daniels


Happy Father’s Day to all the men who are making daily sacrifices for the wellbeing of their families. Today, let’s examine some of the many questions asked by prospective and married couples. They include: “Do marriages go stale after years? Is it possible that couples do not have much to talk about after a while?

Usually for married couples, there are many things to talk about at the onset, including growing businesses, career, and families. Couples talk about their children until they are grown and gone, and the reality of being left alone sets in.

We must learn to preserve the enthusiasm of marriage at each phase of living. People can watch television, read and holiday together but are alone, to the point of sleeping in separate bedrooms. Is there some ways to recapture love when the song has ended?

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In marriage, couples either grow together or drift apart as there is no middle ground, but there will always be the unique opportunity to grow healthy marriages.

How do flat marriages rekindle their romance? First, you remember the good times. Every married couple did five things when they first fell in love.

Attention: The very first sign that you were falling in love was that you noticed someone was paying attention to you, and you equally paid attention to him or her. Do you remember how much attention? You wrote notes, made phone calls, spent hours talking together, brought gifts and gave your total and undivided attention. So, what happened after you got married? Instead of saying: “I’ll get that for you,” we started saying, “get it yourself.” We became complacent in our relationship and took one another for granted. You can rekindle your love today by making time and paying attention to each other.

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Affirmation: The quickest way to put spark back into your marriage is to start focusing on your spouse’s strengths instead of their weaknesses. In I Thessalonians 5:11, it says: “Give encouragement to each other, keep strengthening each other.” Everybody loves to be admired, appreciated, and looked up to and humans generally fall in love with people who admire them. We become what others expect of us. Verbalise your love for your spouse every day. If you verbalise your love, you will begin to feel that love you once had.

Affection: Remember how affectionate you and your spouse were during your courting days? In fact, you can always tell who the unmarried couples are. All marriages need large amounts of hugging, kissing, and other forms of non-sexual touches. The book of Ephesians 5:19 says: “Husbands, be affectionate,” and this is a command to husbands. Some may say, “I’m just not naturally affectionate,” but you can change because being unaffectionate is not in your genes. There are learned behaviours from your family of origin that can be unlearned, and you can be affectionate.
Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos. We love to hear from you @ ayodaniels@mrlworld.com
Ayo Daniels, Lighthouse NG, Plot 2/3, Kudirat Abiola Way Oregun, Ikeja, Lagos. Nigeria. West Africa T: +2348033047532. Tw:ayodaniels, E: ayodaniels@lighthouseng.org 
To Be Continued

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