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The marriage institution – Part 3


Ayo Daniels<br />

We continue this week, answering age-long questions by prospective and married couples. Questions such as “Can marriages actually go stale after years? Is it possible that couples do not have much to talk about anymore after years of marriage? In the last edition, it was highlighted that we need to engage the virtues of attention, affirmation and affection to nurture our marriage. In addition, we need:

Adventure: Most marriages are dull and dry without any spice. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Enjoy life with your wife.” One of the leading cause of extra-marital affairs is boredom. Are you fun to live with? It was adventurous when you were romancing your spouse, but you’ve probably lost that sense of adventure. Everything has become predictable without spontaneity. Predictability kills the fondness in marriage.


Unfortunately, most people define fun as what you do after you have got all your work finished. Whereas, the truth is that no one gets through with all their work.  Work is never finished even after retirement, everyone still has got work to do. Therefore, we need to create time for fun so our feelings do not die quickly in marriage. You must intentionally schedule a date every week.

Accordance: This indicates spiritual oneness and the key to fellowship with our Maker and lives in His presence. When you and your wife/husband are committed to Christ and what he is doing in the world today, you will naturally be drawn together. Spiritual unity enhances romance as we create an atmosphere of prayer where hearts are knit together. Prayer joins together with the natural desire to show physical affection and physical oneness when you are spiritually one. 


God wants you to have oneness, as romance is still God’s idea. The Bible says two shall become one: intellectually, emotionally, physically, recreationally and spiritually. When you have oneness in some of these areas, your marriage is not fully what God wants it to be. However, when you and your spouse connect in all five areas, that’s when you find real, honest and complete oneness. Do you and your spouse pray together? Do you share your life stories with your spouse and vis-versa? Etc. Make these five virtues your priorities, and romance will return to your relationship.

Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos and will love to hear from you:


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