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The marriage institution – Part 7


Ayo Daniels

Winning among married couples begin when each party can recognise, accept, embrace, and celebrate the unique difference between a man and a woman. This can be done by focusing on what God has empowered each party to give, rather than the “benefits,” which marital relationship offers.

The decision to add value to your spouse is the foundation for fulfilment in marriage. Winning in marriage is not achieved overnight. It starts with the basic prayerful selection of your potential mate, who then becomes your ideal spouse with whom you cooperate to work out the marriage.


Developing a teachable spirit as you journey in marriage becomes a non-negotiable decision. Marriage doesn’t offer everything you need in life, but when you choose to help your ideal spouse to meet their needs, you are in turn meeting your needs faster. We are goal givers and not getters in marriage Acts 20:35.

Today, we will first examine the needs of every woman in a marital relationship. Every human has an emotional bank account, which we draw on in relationships. There is a need to consistently make deposits, so we can maintain good credit with our spouses and avoid marital stress when you choose to become an asset to your spouse. The following are 5 basic needs of a woman:
A healthy self-esteem: Women are treasures in their individual families and should be treated, cherished, and honoured as such. Women should be accorded respect and valued above others with care and affection, her self-esteem should be built with the right words and was found lagging, there should be constructive criticism I Peter 3:7.

Companionship: Every woman desires time to nurture intimacy with their families as friends and homemakers. She loves to be given a sense of participation in issues relating to the running of her family. Women/Wives should be engaged productively to leave little or no room for frivolities. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
Affection: Lovemaking to a woman is more than sexual relations. Sex is the aftermath of a relationship spiced with warm affection. Every man must be sensitive to the need of his wife. Learn to say kind words to your spouse, which communicate your affection because good words serve as fertilisers, which nourish the dynamics of marital relationships. The flame of romance will not fade when a man regularly invests small acts of tenderness in his relationship, Ephesians 4:29-32.
Protection: Manhood is a gift and strength given to a man to cover, protect his family spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, and socially. Every man should live out this God-ordained responsibility to nurture and protect his household. Next week, we will examine the needs of men in marital relationships. Biblical marriages must be nurtured and attention is given to check little foxes that may spoil the vine of love and sacredness of marriage.

Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos and will love to hear your questions, testimonies, or attend to your counselling needs:


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