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The marriage institution – Part 9

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Ayo Daniels


The institution of marriage, today, is not what it used to be, as divorce rates have skyrocketed, compared to previous generations, making many people feel lost. Many good-hearted people genuinely want their marriage to succeed, but good intentions alone are not enough recipe for a strong, lasting marriage. There are principles that build strong marriages. It takes deliberate effort to build a loving, long-lasting marriage relationship in mutual joy, help and comfort, giving to one another in either prosperity or adversity Eccl. 4:9-12.

Five Principles for Building a Strong Marriage
Focus on Your Needs as a Couple: Many couples may have difficulty reshaping their mindsets, thinking of their participation in marriage as a teamwork, instead of selfishly worrying about personal needs. One should focus on whatever is best for the overall interest of the relationship. We should consistently balance the satisfaction of personal needs with the overall interest of other stakeholders, so that no one feels neglected. 

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Attitude is everything: There is a saying that ‘it is not always what you say, but how you say it.’ In a marital relationship, your attitude not only affects how well or poorly you communicate, but also the level of happiness in the home. Often, we choose to stay in a depressing, angry frame of mind that can weigh down, overburden and place undue stress on us. This should not be so in marriage.
 
Communicate: Our lives are hectic, and we always have something important to do between our work life and familial obligations. This can make keeping tabs on your spouse difficult, even when they are sleeping next to you. You cannot allow the challenges of daily life drive a wedge between you and your spouse. Instead, constantly communicate with them.

Whether it is talking about your day or your feelings over dinner at home, or through the myriad technologies now available, if you are away from home, talk! Nothing can get resolved and often simple issues can get worse, if one party is in the dark on any rising situation, due to lack of proper communication.

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Develop a Strong Foundation of Trust: Trust is the foundation all relationships are built upon. If this is out of place, the foundation starts to crumble in bits and can lead to bigger problems in the future. Trust is the hub of every marriage and should be a daily action plan.
 
Don’t be too Proud to Ask for Counsel: If you have people around you who have relatively stable marriages, never be too proud to reach out to them and ask for assistance. They may be able to help with counsels pointing you in the right direction. It feels humbling asking for help, but why wouldn’t you do everything in your power to ensure the success of your marriage? Asking for help is strength personified, Philip 4:8. Selah!
Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos and will love to hear your feedback, questions, testimonies and attend to your counselling need: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com

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