By Bishop Charles Ighele 

A middle aged woman who was very frustrated at her only daughter’s insistence on going to a specialised university, instead of a conventional and more prestigious one lashed out at her daughter with bitter words.

She said words like, “from the day I birthed you, I knew you’d never bring me joy. You are a disgrace like your father.’’ This bitter mother let out the ‘steam’ she had been keeping and said the most hateful words to her daughter.

The young daughter who had previously never had cause to disobey her mother was so hurt by her mother’s words, she felt like a let down and she felt unloved. She said to her mother, “why did you give birth to me if you knew I’d bring shame to you. You should have killed me as a child.’’

This young lady packed her things and left her mother‘s house. Everyday her mother lived to regret her words, and she kept wishing she could take back her words, but the damage had been done. Her daughter did not return home until after three years.

The Bible says, life and death are in the power of the tongue. You can tear down with your words and also build with your words. A wise person once said: “Words uttered can never be withdrawn.’’

We must, therefore, weigh whatsoever we say. Do not let anger, pride,jealousy, among others, make you say some things that you are not supposed to say to your husband, wife, children, colleagues or neighbours.

Your will is fundamental in deciding the time, place and person your words can be said to. Allow every word that proceeds from your mouth to be weighed by your will. Before you say anything to anyone when you are angry; ask yourself if you would like to be spoken to in that same manner. Ask yourself if the words you want to say to someone will build or destroy the person.

Some people always say things like, “I never meant to say that’’ and I ask, “so, why did you?’’ You can control your mouth even in anger.

Job, in his suffering and anguish, never cursed God. That is a great height of self-control. No matter the situation or level of provocation, you can control what you say even in anger. Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.