When a wife knows more about sex than her husband
I strongly believe that if a woman knows about sex than her husband, she has to directly or indirectly teach him. Ah! Bishop, do you really think an African woman should let her husband know that she knows more than him about sex and then go ahead to teach him? A lady whose sexual knowledge and possibly practice is higher than that of her husband can tell her man words such as these, “I think I have a more sexually inquisitive mind than you. I think I have a mind that is ready to explore and advance the sex area of our marriage than you. I know your mind is very active and receptive in so so and so areas. (You may name the areas.) I will want you to allow me to fully use my explorative sexual mind to help us improve on our sex life so that we can enjoy sex to the fullest the way God created it to be enjoyed. Hope you will not say, “you don spoil.” I do not need to be spoilt before I can have a sexually explorative mind just as a person does not need to be an expert in mathematics at birth before he or she can become good in mathematics.”
I am not saying a lady must quote it this way. It is just an idea of how such a woman can wisely expand the boundaries of their marital sex life without necessarily announcing to her husband whether she has had a lot of sexual practicals or not.
In case a wife is not so comfortable with the above suggestion, she may decide to secretly meet their pastor, marriage counselor or marriage supervisor. I strongly suggest that a couple should have a marriage counselor or marriage supervisor that they trust and can confide in. The counselor may not be the supervisor but a supervisor can be both. After the lady has secretly told the marriage counselor of their sexual problems, the marriage counselor or supervisor or pastor can then arrange an “accidental” meeting where the matter can “accidentally” be brought up. The woman should take advantage of this “accidental” discussion to skillfully but totally open up to the marriage supervisor about the underachievement in the sex area of their marriage. From there, a wise pastor or marriage counselor or supervisor should begin to advise with the aim of bringing the couple to a sexual equilibrium point.
I will never advice any woman to pretend to her husband, as if she is enjoying sex when actually she is not. Why should I when 1 Cor. 7:3 says, “a husband should give to his wife her sexual rights and likewise a wife to her husband.” Why should I when 1 Cor. 7: 9b says, “for it is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire.” Why should a person be married and yet the burning sexual desires are not satisfied? Some time ago, I was invited by a highly conservative Christian group to teach the couples on marriage and family Christian life. To their surprise, I decided to teach on the topic “how to make your wife have her orgasm.” But to my surprise, at least two women started sobbing during my teaching. They cried. They did not need to explain before everyone could understand that they were suffering sexually in their marriages. Wow, if I were a woman, I will take the lead, strategise and tactically navigate a new and exciting path for our sexual journey. If the woman knows best, allow her be the teacher. Enjoy your sex life. Love you.
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