When next you meet your now married Ex-girlfriend

There is a spirit of leadership, which God puts in man that wants to make the average man to be in charge. This spirit is highly on display when many men pursue females for marital or immoral relationships. No man likes being turned down when he makes love advances to any member of the opposite sex. The average man wants to have his way. He wants to “conquer” every female that he likes. “Conquering” of women gives an immoral man a sense of pride and achievement. That is why a 17-year-old boy will boast about how girls “fall” for him to his mates at school.

Some men have a false sense of the spirit of ownership over any female that was once their girlfriend, or had a casual sinful sexual affair with them. Do not be surprised if you hear a man tell another man that a prominent married woman was once his girlfriend.
 
In fact, I know of a man who told any person that cared to listen to him of how one of Nigeria’s most prominent women (but now married) was once his girlfriend. But it is more difficult to hear a married woman announcing to people that another man was once her boyfriend.

The point I am trying to make is that, some men have not emotionally parted ways 100 per cent with some of their serious ex-girlfriends, or casual girlfriends. Some men see some of their former female friends as part of their conquered “eternal territories.” Instead of one married man keeping quiet when he heard that his former girlfriend was about to get married, he “triumphantly” informed his male colleagues that she was once his girlfriend.

Let me make it clear here that many decent men who had girlfriends before they got married do not behave the way that I described above. They allow by gones to be by gones and make conscious efforts to ensure that their marriages work without reference to their past life, and I think this is how it should be. The word of God tells us to forget about the past and to press towards attaining the highest standard of life that God wants us to have. 

Someone might be saying, “Bishop, why not go to the point and tell me how to behave when next I meet an ex-girlfriend. Go to the point.” That is exactly the purpose of the build-up that you have been reading. Let me now hit the nail on the head. When a sizeable number of men meet an ex-girlfriend, the feeling of ownership, the feeling of conquest, the spirit of leadership and a sense of territorial protection over the now married lady can be set in motion, specially when the man is not a strong man. It is, therefore, dangerous for such a married man and an ex-girlfriend who is now married to be alone, or keep communicating, all things being equal. For those men who do not see their ex-girlfriends as part of their “conquered possessions,” old flames, old passions, old memories and the emergence of a little sense of mischief can make a weak man to want to continue from where he stopped.

When next, therefore, you as a man meet an ex-girlfriend, you just have to be on your guard. Remind yourself that the old man, the old you that had her as a girlfriend is gone, and that a new you who is eternally committed to your wife now rules over your sexual desires (Eph 4:22-24). Love you!