Why relationship fails – Part 5
We have discussed two of the numerous reasons why relationships fail, namely; Wrong foundations and impatience. Today, we shall be looking at another very important reason, which I call disagreements or absence of mutual agreement. Relationship can only stand or thrive, when the parties involved are in mutual agreements on so many issues. The absence of such agreements can spell doom for any relationship. The truth is that relationship is all about mutual agreements. There can be no relationship without mutual agreements. It is actually foolishness to erroneously assume that one is in a relationship, when there is no agreement. Although the agreement may be verbal or unwritten, it must exist between the parties involved for their relationship to succeed. To start with, you cannot assume that you are in relationship like courtship with someone, when the agreement to do so does not really exist.
At least, there must be a proposal and giving of consent before you can begin to introduce the person as your life partner or fiancé and fiancée, as the case may be. It is absolutely wrong to introduce someone you have not proposed to or someone who have not proposed to you or someone who is yet to give his or her consent as your fiancé or fiancée. It is foolishness to assume that the person is automatically in relationship with you, simply because you love her or because you have told her your mind, when she has not actually decided and when she has not given an unequivocal yes answer to your proposal.
I have even seen where brothers in Christ erroneously assume they were in a relationship with ladies they have not proposed love to. Similarly, I have seen ladies who erroneously assumed that they were in courtship with guys who never proposed to them. All the assumptions were based on the fact that they were very close or the fact that such brothers or sisters were very kind and caring to them for no other reasons they could explain. Such people get offended, when they see a member of the opposite sex who is trying to get closer to their supposed fiancé or fiancée.
But we must be very careful about assumptions because it has been described as the mother of foolishness. Never assume that you are in a relationship, until you can ascertain the fact that you have agreed to do so. Some singles have approached me to tell me of their disappointments over someone they claimed to be their lovers who abandoned them and went away with someone else. But by the time I interviewed them, I discovered that they were at best close friends of those people they claimed to have disappointed them, and they were not actually at any time in courtship because there was no proposal. It will be an act of unfaithfulness, if a guy proposes love or marriage to a lady and he moved to propose to another person before the first one gave her consent or worse still, after she had given her consent. It will also be wrong for a lady to delay in giving her consent, just because she wants to use the guy as a backup in case the person she is expecting eventually refuses to show up. Some will even hide under the guise that they are still praying about it. Relationship requires absolute honesty and integrity.
For more information, please contact Rev. Solomon Julius Ojigiri.
Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l, 31, Oritse St. off Obafemi Awolowo Way, Balogun Bus Stop, Ikeja, Lagos State, Nigeria Or Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l, 73/77 Everwinning Faith Avenue, Whitesand, Isheri Osun, Festac-Extension, Lagos, Nigeria.