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Knowing the family background of whom you want to marry


Charles Ighele

On the second day of January this year, my wife, the entire household and I headed to one of the quiet, private Atlantic Ocean beaches in Lagos.

We were nineteen in number, including my grandchildren. It was fun, pure family fun, playing, eating, horse riding and playing by the side of the waters.

While the teenagers and those in their twenties among us were busy running up and down and having fun, at a stage, my wife went to the high rise pavilion we rented for our family with one or two people on the elderly side gisting and looking at the ocean. But I went to a place close to the water with a covering where I sat on a chair.


What I have written about so far is not the real reason for this article. But I am just adding all these to inspire families to create family fun during festive and non-festive periods.

I am a very busy man. But as far as I am concerned, creating amusement for my wife, and all those that God brings under my roof is one of my priorities in life.

Now back to what happened at the beach. Apart from our household, I am not sure if there were up to fifteen other people there. The couples looked responsible.

What caught my attention was a girl who was probably seven years old cursing another boy who was possibly her elder brother of about nine years.

For about five to ten minutes, I heard her saying non-stop and at the top of her voice words like: “big for nothing. It will not be well with you. You will walk and stumble all the days of your life…” A gentleman nearby who could not take it any longer had to ask her to stop.

To her parents, it was a normal way of life. The point I want to make here is that, by the time this seven-year-old grows up to be a highly educated beautiful lady, the man who will marry her is likely to be in real hot pepper soup.

She will curse him, curse his father, curse his mother and relatives, as well as his friends whenever she is frustrated or angry. It is not impossible, but it is not so easy for such a person to change his or her ways in adulthood.


In the quiet highbrow neighborhood we lived while we were still in Benin city, we heard the two teenage undergraduate sons of our neighbour shouting at their mother, “keep quiet. You are just a woman”. The mother’s response was: “these things you are doing to me; your children will do them to you.”

Any responsible lady that marries any of these handsome boys is likely to have a tough time. She may not enjoy her, man neither will she enjoy her mother in-law because lawlessness is the culture of the entire family.

Only a lawless lady can fit in. Therefore, know whoever you want to marry to the family level.

A handsome man fell in love with a lady and they had a great wedding. A short period after, the man started putting up strange behaviour until he completely ran mad.

It was after then she and her family members got to know that all the males in that family usually run mad, and he was the last of the males in the family.

If the lady and her family had carried out background checks, they might have taken a better decision whether to marry him or not.

Shine your eyes. Look well well before you say, “I do.” Love you.

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