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Knowing whom to marry – Part 3  

By Ayo Daniels
05 December 2021   |   2:45 am
360-Degree Views of Others: Nobody knows you better than your friends, family and other people planted in your life. And when they tell you this is the finishing line, it might be great to listen

Ayo Daniels

Today, we resume our series – knowing whom to marry. Here are some other salient things to consider:
 
360-Degree Views of Others: Nobody knows you better than your friends, family and other people planted in your life. And when they tell you this is the finishing line, it might be great to listen. Close people bringing up red flags about “you-know-who” might mean it’s time to pump the brakes and address the concerns raised without any sentiment Proverbs 18:24.

 
You Have No Problem Apologising: A lot of people underestimate the usage of the following phrases in daily conversations as they start a relationship leading to marriage: “Thank you” “May I”, “Please”, “I am sorry”, “Forgive me.” Don’t forget that not being willing to say these words may suggest being caught in selfish pride, which may become detrimental to the health of the future marriage. Anyone can miss the mark at any time, but it shouldn’t go on forever. You must be courageous enough to admit that you were off the mark and make amends.
 
You Can Discuss Past Relationship With Minimal Drama: Speaking of these fiery conversations, it is important to confirm that the person you are with is completely over any old flames and have learnt from his or her previous relationships. You can’t become a victim of any issue you didn’t instigate. Relationship matters should be open enough to ensure the well-being of all.
 
You Are Financially Stable To Run Life: Money is one of the top reasons couples bicker and may cause separation, or worse. While you obviously don’t have to be rich to get married, you must be fiscally responsible as a pair and that means being able to openly communicate about all your money matters and financial challenges.
 
You Are Willing To Participate In Each Other’s Hobbies: If you can’t hang out alone without Netflix or iPhones, then do you really have a connection beyond a joint appreciation for WIFI? Friendship is key in any relationship or marriage. You must learn to develop your intra and interpersonal relationship before agreeing to marry someone without being forced.

You Are Daily Discovering New Things About One Another: There is no agreed period of time that you can know someone fully before agreeing to marry them. However, moments of boredom, although normal, should be minimal because you will still be uncovering happy surprises about each other after years of being together. This is healthy for the strength and maturity of your relationship.
 
Marriage is not a two-for-one deal. You don’t have to feel sappy while committing to a lifetime of marriage. Most people run on assumptions and become sentimental when it comes to the choice of a partner. But marriage prepares you for the most practical moment of life. In marriage, you are faced with realities without pretence. You can’t afford hidden agendas, no matter how secretive you have been before now. In marriage, you should be found real, confident to express yourself without fear or insecurity (I John 4:18).

Ayo Daniels is a healthy family practitioner. Contact: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com