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Knowing whom to marry – Part I

By Ayo Daniels
07 November 2021   |   2:46 am
There comes a time in relationships, when people start wondering if the person they are with is the right person to share their lives with. Many are concerned about how not to get into relationships

Ayo Daniels

There comes a time in relationships, when people start wondering if the person they are with is the right person to share their lives with.

Many are concerned about how not to get into relationships that will go south. Even though there may be no physical yardstick to measure the strength of relationships with others at the start, there are few signs people can observe, to be convinced that they are with the right person or stuck with someone they do not envision a life with. Finding the right person to marry entails more than just someone with a sense of humour, charm, and financial stability. In every relationship, there must be a few pointers:

Become the person you desire to marry: Everyone has an ideal picture of a spouse, based on the frame of reference from their circle of influence. There is no doubt we can be inspired by living examples of thriving marriages, but the truth is marriage takes determined efforts. Everyone who desires to marry a godly, loyal, committed, loving, kind and compassionate spouse, should aim at becoming one themselves.

One of the things you need to factor in about finding the right person to marry is that life is better spent with someone who accepts you the way you are and inspires you to become a better version of yourself. This is unlike someone who tries to change you every time you make a mistake and is happy when you accept those changes Proverbs 18:24.

They want you to become a better person: The key to spotting the right person to marry is to be with someone who brings out the best in you. We all have weaknesses that we are not proud of, and we tend to hide them from others. If your significant other makes you want to look at your shortcomings in the face and encourages you to work on them, chances are that they do not want to just spend a few months or years with you, but they want to be in your life forever. How do you know who to marry? If your partner is your inspiration to becoming a better version of yourself and if being around them makes you want to work on your inadequacies and follies, then you have found the right person for you Ecclesiastes 4:9.

They are willing to share life with you: Emotional dependency is a natural progression of every close relationship. People tend to rely on one another in moments of sorrow and happiness. Because you care about each other, their emotional well-being is your priority, and yours is of paramount importance to them as well. What makes them happy makes you happy, and vice versa. If your emotional language is easily discerned by them and you can interpret their non-verbal cues without difficulty, this might be a sign. Finding the right person to marry is about finding that one person who is willing to empathise with you and support you without feeling burdened by your problems Proverbs 27:17.

They are willing to work on their character: While on the quest to finding the right person to marry, you must consider if they exhibit the character traits of a decent human being i.e. willingness to help others, compassion, ability to forgive, following basic etiquettes and is polite. Finding whom to marry is not an easy task. In the pursuit of finding the right person to marry, we come across a lot of people that we consider potential partners but end up parting ways. This is because we do not understand the other person fully before deciding that they are the right person for us.

To be continued…
Ayo Daniels is a healthy family practitioner. You can contact him: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com

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