Rescuing your loved one who is blindly in love
In my article in this column last Sunday, I wrote about how I was blindly in love. I also wrote about how the girl sacked me the same day I informed her of the disastrous outcome of an examination I wrote while at school. As stated, it was not a sexual relationship at all. But I was blindly in love.
After about three days or so of depression, my eyes were opened to the fact that I was an idiot. The signals that this girl would never make a good wife were many but I ignored them.
When a person is blindly in love, he or she cannot see the future consequences of his or her actions.
Chei! It was much later I realised if she had not sacked me, I would have ended up marrying her and would have been one of the most miserable husbands on earth. I would also not have fulfilled my God-ordained destiny. I am still very grateful to God today that, even while I was a sinner, He put insurmountable roadblocks on my path without which I would have walked like a nama (cow) to the slaughter.
From years of being a marriage and family counselor, I have found out that the following are among the steps that people take to rescue their loved ones who are blindly in love.
• Some approach the matter like Samson’s father and mother as can be seen in Judges 14:15&16. All they could say as stated in Judges 14:3 was “Is there no other woman in the whole of Israel that you can pick to be a wife, apart from this pagan Philistine?” Samson, seeing that his parents were very soft on him, took advantage of their softness and replied, “Get her for me; for she pleases me well.”
• Another approach families use to rescue their loved ones who are blindly in love is to shout, scream and threaten that they will not attend the wedding and that they are on their own. The way some blind lovers respond to this tactic is to abscond and wed somewhere else or move in as live-in lovers.
• A third approach some families use is to go and threaten the lady or man their loved one is blindly in Iove with, with such words as, “leave my son alone” or “leave my daughter alone”. A young man got angry with his mother and loved ones for going to harass his “innocent” girl. A woman whose son was blindly in love used this third approach some weeks ago in Ughelli, Delta State, Nigeria. She went to tell the girl her son was blindly in love with to leave her son alone. A fight ensued and the mother of the girl was accidentally stabbed and she died.
What then should be done to a blind, deaf and mad lover?
Parents of such a person and some family members should individually or collectively put such matter into deep and constant prayer and fasting without tormenting the blind lover with such quarrelsome words as, “We are praying and fasting for you. You will never marry him/her.” Pray and fast secretly but once in a while and within respectable intervals, you sit the blind lover down and try to paint the picture of how the marriage would likely end. Make the person know that you love him/her and you hate to see him/her in a marriage that will be filled with sorrow.
I pray that your children’s marriages will never bring sadness to you. I pray that your children’s marriages will bring additional joy to your life and family in the Name of Jesus, Amen. Love you.