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Should a christian date?


Recently, news broke that a young lady was murdered in a hotel in Lagos after she travelled from Abuja to meet her so-called boyfriend whom she met through Facebook. They had been corresponding for a while and she came to Lagos to visit him only for her life to be snuffed out. Many like her have sustained physical and emotional bruises because they do not know what dating entails.

Although there is no direct reference to dating or the use of the word in the Bible, it may be safe to say that the nearest to the idea of dating was the relationship described between Joseph and Mary the Mother of Jesus.

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother, Mary was betrothed to Joseph,…” Matthew 1:18. (NKJV)


The word ‘Betrothed’ is used to describe someone that has been promised to a marriage partner. In the Jewish culture, this is an integral part of the marriage ceremony so much so that Joseph was referred to as Mary’s husband (Mathew 1:19).

The idea here is that dating from the Biblical perspective really begins when both parties have agreed to marry but this is not the reality today.

What Is Dating?
The word dating means different things to different people. However, it is a situation where a man and a lady enter into a relationship to know each other better before committing themselves to marriage. It should be purposeful and intentionally geared towards marriage.

Undoubtedly, when children attain the age of puberty, there are natural hormonal changes that happen to them, which makes them self-conscious and driven by a need to enter a more intimate relationship with the opposite sex. This is why many assume since everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, one might as well have one so as not to be labeled a “miss-fit”.

In Western countries, children start dating from 12 or 13 years and this is absolutely tragic because they are totally unprepared for the physical and emotional demands of such a commitment meant primarily for adults. Children who have no plans for the future or who do not know the reason for their existence have no business dating; they had rather concentrate their energies on having a solid educational foundation for a better and brighter future. Dating is serious business and only for the mature mind.

Unfortunately, in this present world, a lot of young men and women date each other before they decide to get married and end up bruised. Why? Because they see dating as a “game of fun” everybody is playing so they invariably date people they come across in shopping malls, cinemas, and social events, etc., who are complete strangers. If you date a stranger, he or she will try to impress you by putting his or her best foot forward. There is usually a lot of pretenses and cover-up just to get the other person to accept what he or she sees and not the real person.

That is why I strongly recommend that if you must date, then let it be a friend, an acquaintance, a colleague in the office or school mate, someone you already know either closely or from a distance because you will always be able to ascertain the person’s true character either by personal observation or by referral.

Enquiries: Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule-Egba. Tel: 08080929292 (Calls only); 08182281184 (Whatsapp messages only).

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