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The marriage institution – Part 5


Ayo Daniels

Marriage is not a necessary evil as some people profess today, based on their experiences. Marriage as God instituted it, is a demonstration of synergy because man was created for cooperation and never for isolation. The foundation for a successful marriage is the basic understanding that it is an enactment of a covenant relationship between God, the initiator of the covenant, and the couple, who are beneficiaries of the union that is binding for life. When we approach marriage without this covenant mindset, people struggle with the commitment expected in their marital relationships. It is the breaking of this covenant agreement that leads to marital stress and the eventual break ups in marital unions. The law which governs the covenant of marriage is the law of obedience, Genesis 2:18, Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12.

The following are wrong reasons for marriage: To spite or get back at parents. This is not an escape route from the seeming control or perceived domination by parents, uncles, and siblings. No one should get married to escape an unhappy home, or family background.


Others get married because of negative self-image. Marriage won’t make anyone to be more acceptable or loved better. Issues, which bother on low self-esteem, rejection, past hurts should be dealt with before entering into a marital relationship. The fear of being left out in life due to getting old is another wrong reason for wanting to get married, as well as social pressure from peers, parents, and the society.

People marry others as a rebound after going through an emotional trauma, loss, or being jilted in a previous love relationship. People also rush into fresh relationships without getting over their experiences in the last relationship. Some people end up getting married as a “therapist” to the other person because of their past issues. You cannot marry anyone out of pity. Some other people marry because of invented images of soul ties with someone, believing that that will resolve all their emotional needs to live happily ever after, and some due to the perceived comfort that such relationships will offer them.


Others get married because of social status so that they would be addressed as “Mr. and Mrs,” but this is not a cure to loneliness. People also get married because their fiancée/girlfriend is pregnant, or on the claim of sexual compatibility.

However, there are good biblical reasons why we should get married prominent among, which is companionship. The power of friendship is enhanced through the synergy of marriage. Another reason is for completion. Marriage hinges on friendship. You must marry someone that you feel comfortable with; someone who believes in you, your potential, laughs with you, and can identify with your varying concerns while you jointly work together to fulfill God’s purpose for your lives, Eccl 4:9.

For Coition: To fulfill sexual needs in every way that God intended it in marriage Heb. 13:4.

For Communication: You get to know your spouse through well-informed interactions, expressing practical love (I John 4:18).

For Consolation: You get to establish your conviction about who you marry, which further strengthens your relationship.

Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate who writes from Lagos and will love to hear from you:


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