The nagging spouse

Your home is supposed to be a place of rest, a place of refuge from the problems of the world. The Webster dictionary defines “Nagging” as finding faults incessantly or complaining. There are different reasons a spouse nags. It could be out of love and concern. Some nag for lack of appreciation. It could also be to show displeasure over something. For whatever reason it is, nagging does not help, it only hurts your marriage.

Nagging hurts both the husband and wife. It hurts your spouse because it makes him feel unappreciated, unloved and disrespected. It demoralises him/her and brings about resentment. It hurts you and your spouse because it means that you are focusing on the negative things in your life rather than the positive things you have been blessed with.

You must understand that your husband or wife is not perfect thus he/she has some shortcomings. It is left for you to learn to live with the shortcomings instead of making issues out of it. A nagging wife hardly accepts that she nags. She might not even notice that she is nagging. She complains at every mistake her husband makes no matter how little the mistake is. This attitude would make her husband feel small and no man wants to feel that way. He tries to spend more time outside his home than with the wife and even when he is home, he would avoid being in her presence.

Instead of allowing yourself to get frustrated over negative things, focus on the positive aspect of your spouse. For example, instead of complaining that the money he gave for the upkeep of the house is not enough, thank him for what he has given and politely ask him if he still has the financial ability to add more.

Many people do not believe a man nags. They tag only women as those who nag. This is not true because there are a lot of men that nag. They do not know how to correct their wives. He would feel that he needs to explain over and over again, so, it will sink into the woman’s brain. But instead of achieving that aim, he would only succeed in making the woman frustrated, sad and hurt.

Linda (not real name) was preparing for her husband’s return after some months overseas. She spent days cleaning the house to make everywhere look perfect for her husband. During the cleaning, she missed a cobweb on the ceiling in a corner of the house. When her husband walked in, that was the first thing he saw. Instead of him to tell her how much he missed her, he pointed at the cobweb and said, “see where you said you cleaned.”

He then went on and on to tell her how she does not always settle down to do things well, how dirty the house was and in the next hour he was still talking about the issue bringing up her different mistakes. Linda felt so sad and the joy she felt that her husband was back disappeared. She began to wish he would go back. That attitude made her love for her husband go cold.

Nobody wants to be berated for anything. This is what nagging does. It berates a woman when her husband nags at her and likewise the man. Know today that there is no perfect person on earth. Everyone is prone to mistakes, therefore, give room for mistakes in your marriage and not to nag all the time about the mistakes of your spouse. Love you!