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When a lady assumes that a man wants to propose


Charles Ighele

Some years ago, I needed to counsel a young man who found himself in a strange situation. It’s about a girl with whom he worked in the same organisation. This young man used to gist and crack jokes with other ladies and men in the organisation. But it’s as if he was a little closer to this particular lady than other ladies.

After a few years of working together, the boy happily announced to her one day that he has found a girl and that she has agreed to marry him. The lady screamed, “What about me?” She told the boy that she had thought that he was interested in her all along. She had thought that the boy would surely propose marriage to her one day. The boy kept saying such things as: “We are just workplace friends and I never intended to propose marriage to you.” As far as the boy was concerned, he felt that there were one or two areas that made both of them to flow together, so they kept gisting. To him, she was just an office friend or acquaintance. But the lady could not take any of these. She was so angry and bitter and she resigned from her place of work.


A girl once told me about how a boy was showing interest in getting hooked to one of her friends. I wanted to know from her why she thought the boy was after her friend. Her reply was, “I am a lady and I should know.” I then told her this is the error some females make. They think a boy is after them, when he is just putting up his normal behaviour to all.

The fact that a boy is friendly doesn’t mean he has a marriage motive. You can actually ruin a great friendship with such an assumption. Stop assuming, instead, allow him come out openly to say his intentions, that is, if he has any. But if he doesn’t, then enjoy the relationship. You will get your heart broken if you don’t stop assuming. Someone said many years ago that ‘assumption is the lowest level of knowledge.’

A young lady once assumed a handsome bachelor had eyes for her, when he started asking questions about her and her background. He only wanted to know more about her. She got bitter and was really shattered, when she got to know he was getting married to someone else. She never forgave him.

It was not his fault because he never asked her to marry him, but she kept telling people “He disappointed me.” How could he disappoint you, when he never appointed you? When the lights are not green, stop assuming!

Can you imagine what some boys do? When they admire a lady from a distance, instead of getting close to her to study her, they search out for the girl’s best friend. They believe the adage that says, “show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” He was only investigating.

Would you now say that such a boy disappointed you? Ladies should stop assuming. When a lady faithfully relaxes and waits, the man will surely come. Psalm 37:7 says, ‘Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.’

Almost all the time I handle matters of ladies who wrongly assume, they keep saying words like ‘I am a lady. I am supposed to know.’ Yes, you are supposed to know, but the truth is that you added one plus one and your answer became seven. If a lady decides to relax with relationships, she is not likely to get the wrong answer. So, to avoid unappointed disappointments, make you relax well, well. Love you.


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