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When you think you have married the wrong person

By Bishop Charles Ighele
16 January 2022   |   2:54 am
The purpose of marriage is first for companionship before other things. But some people are not seeing it that way. The first thing is to have a strong relationship

Charles Ighele

The purpose of marriage is first for companionship before other things. But some people are not seeing it that way. The first thing is to have a strong relationship and then other things will follow. Adam and Eve were first together before God blessed them.

Never see your spouse as a mistake no matter what happens. If you do, you will never enjoy him/her because you have formed a mindset that will not totally accept the way he/she is. You will be seeing the reasons why you are thinking he/she is a mistake as you have created a pathway in your brain to accept that as a fact.

That spouse will never do anything that will please you anymore. Whatever he/she does is misinterpreted and taken to mean what you want it to mean. By saying he/she is a mistake, you are simply saying that you made an error in choosing him/her as a life partner. And no human will like to hear such a word being used on him/her. An error is an error; meaning that the spouse that you are seeing as an error is inappropriate and/or unacceptable. 

What should be done to remedy this, is to try to turn around those things that made you see that mistake in your choice.  And this can only be done when love is applied. In other words, you can also be a tool in the hands of God to make that “mistake” to become a good companion. Remember that God never looked at how perfect man was when He sent Jesus as a sacrifice to redeem man from the bad situation Adam placed the human race. See your spouse the way God wants you to see him/her. Even if your spouse is a “mistake,” God is a God who specialises in correcting mistakes. See your spouse with the eye of God. Please, try!

There are dangers inherent in seeing your spouse as a mistake.

• He/she will lose value before you. In this case, you will not respect him/her and will not even see any valuable thing in that person. You will then talk to that spouse anyhow.

• Your attention will be focusing on things that he/she is not doing well and you will stop seeing any positive thing about your partner and this of course usually leads to nagging and you getting easily irritated by little things that ought not to have mattered. All that the devil or the eyes of your mind will be showing you are the negative sides.

• There will not be a hunger for pleasurable moments together anymore.

•  You will begin to see him/her as a hindrance to your advancement in life.

• You will start planning alone; leaving the spouse out of your plans.

• You will regret marrying that person. And regret springs up bitterness and resentment.

• The love between you two will gradually die if care is not taken.

• You will start looking out for a replacement.

• Or at worst, you might wish the spouse dead as someone wished some time ago in order to give you room to marry another person.

Never entertain the thoughts of seeing your spouse as a mistake. Unless he/she is a criminal or supernaturally wicked. It is very dangerous and might lead to entertaining evil thoughts. You should rather point out issues you do not like or the things that he/she does that make you feel the way you do. There is nothing impossible with a mind that is 100 per cent ready to forgive and rebuild a marriage that was once regarded as a mistake.

Any marriage can be rebuilt no matter how bad it has sunk. Love you!

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