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Why relationships fail – Part 4


Solomon Ojigiri

Today, we are looking at the second reason many relationships fail before they even metamorphose into marriage. We have talked about the wrong foundations in the first three episodes. Now, we want to talk about impatience.

We live in a very unique generation. There are different words that various people have used to describe the age in which we live. Some have called it the Jet age, microwave oven age, the computer age, the Internet age, the fast food generation, the digital generation, the hash tag, or the quick fix generation. Whatever the nomenclature or the name, it is just semantics.


All of the descriptions talk about the fact that we are in a generation where things are done with extreme speed and by implication, we are living in a generation where impatience has become the order of the day and patience is no more a desirable lifestyle. The word patience has become almost useless or of no significance in our vocabulary. Gone are the days when patience was a celebrated virtue in our society. The reverse is now the case in our contemporary world. However, the provision of God’s word has not changed.

Patience still remains one of the greatest virtues that God wants us to imbibe today; learning to wait on God in a world where no one is ready to wait for anything. Today, many people see waiting as a mere waste of time. But the truth remains that waiting on God in prayers, and waiting for His appointed time in our lives can never be a waste of time. From the scriptural point of view, it is very difficult to be all that God has in mind for us without learning to walk in patience, which requires waiting for His appointed time. One of the reasons for breakups or failed relationships in our generation is impatience. First, many of the young people going into a relationship today are often in a hurry. They rush into it with little or no prayer. Some believe in what they usually refer to as “Love at first sight,” which actually is not a real love but infatuation that is usually as a result of lust and most times it fizzles into the thin air after a period of time. Infatuation is characterised by selfish and lustful desires that cannot stand the test of time. When we choose our life partner in a hurry, without adequate prayers, adequate thinking and proper investigation about our prospect or intended partner, it often leads to break up or failed relationship. The need to wait before we make our choices cannot be overemphasised; it is the antidote for errors and regrets.


Secondly, impatience can also manifest in our dealings with the opposite sex. Some are not able to exercise sufficient patience in a relationship, as they usually expect their partner to be perfect, even when they themselves are not perfect. The truth remains that none of us is perfect; we are growing and moving towards perfection.

As long as there is nothing fundamentally wrong, we must learn to exercise patience with our partner, as we correct each other in love and learn together. I actually mentioned that fact that if there is nothing fundamentally wrong because we must not deliberately close our eyes to some fundamental issues or character flaws.

For instance, it will be certainly wrong to continue with the relationship, when we notice such fundamental issues as getting to discover that he or she is not genuinely born again as he/she claimed or like the example of the lady or man who decided to beat his/her parents because of you or she or he is given to telling blatant lies, deceptions, greed, covetousness or fighting. It will be a great tragedy to close one’s eyes to such. However, one must not just think of getting out of every relationship simply because the person makes a mistake or break up over every little misunderstanding.


For instance, where you notice some little table manners, we must do our best to correct the person in love and not just appear as if one is looking for flimsy excuses to back out of a relationship. As long as we are not thinking of getting married to angels, we must realise that no matter who you get engaged to, you will need to exercise patience. As he or she tries to adjust or learn to improve, so also you too will need to learn and make some adjustments. It is always easy to notice or discover other people’s mistakes and carry ourselves as if we are perfect because the eye does not see itself except by reflection. On the other hand, it is so easy to justify or rationalise and give excuses for our errors, mistakes, bad manners and unwholesome behaviours, while we find it difficult to tolerate the same mistakes or conducts in others.

Another area of impatience is the inability to wait till your breakthrough or success comes. There are some ladies who will not want to accept a proposal from a guy that does not have a lot of money or material wealth. Some may even accept your proposal, but will not be interested in getting married to the guy, except they can see signs or indications that breakthrough has finally come. We must also learn to exercise patience by waiting on God to lift us and our partner at the appointed time, as we remain diligent and pursue our goals and dreams doggedly and passionately.

For more information, please contact Rev. Solomon Julius Ojigiri.

Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l, 31, Oritse St. off Obafemi Awolowo Way, Balogun Bus Stop, Ikeja, Lagos State, Nigeria Or Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l, 73/77 Everwinning Faith Avenue, Whitesand, Isheri Osun, Festac-Extention, Lagos, Nigeria.


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