“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence”. This famous quote by Charles Bukowski is the reality.
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There’s the argument that confident people are born with their confidence, this might be true, but the fact is, confidence is an attribute that can be harnessed. From the above quote, we can infer that Charles Bukowski is implying that only intelligent people should be confident but if the stupid ones are not getting arrested for being full of confidence, then let us all be confident regardless of our level of intelligence.
It is a dog-eat-dog world. Every single person is protecting their interest, be it noble or vile. Understanding that you are your own spokesman is the first step to cultivating confidence. You are the sole representative of your body, your wants and desires, your strengths and weaknesses, your unique abilities and talents, and your livelihood.
So, show up for yourself every day as you show up to your job. This might seem cliche, words you have probably read or heard before; words that would most likely be forgotten during the actual moment of self-doubt. If nothing sticks, remember this when next you doubt yourself; Nobody else knows what they are doing.
This statement cannot be disputed in my opinion. Even individuals who are believed to have reincarnated a deceased person do not know if they have actually lived before. Those who we think are wise, brave and confident are just winging it.
The person you look up to the most does not know what they are doing: Your parents, spiritual leader, president, boss and mentor. Everybody is figuring it out. A good opposing statement would be that you know what you are doing if you have done it before, but the only reason you keep doing something in a particular way is because it has worked before and not because you are certain it will work again. As humans, we take the next step after checking our archive of past events and results. If there are no past events to inspire our decision, we just trust our instincts and make a choice. Lack of confidence can manifest in different ways, I’ll mention a few:
Inferiority Complex
Some people think so lowly of themselves that they automatically believe the next person is smarter or generally better, even a stranger. Another result of an inferiority complex is people pleasing. If you believe that the next person is better, you will go out of your way to please them, even willing to displease yourself in the process. Eventually, when the person with an inferiority complex finds out that the stranger is an unintelligent person, they feel disappointed and angry.
This discovery makes them become hostile depending on what their complex cost them. If you can relate to this, going forward, remind yourself in every encounter with strangers that you are the smartest person you know in that conversation. This is not a leeway to become arrogant, but considering that you have a deficit in confidence, this would help you believe in yourself enough to represent your interest. Inferiority complex is sometimes not that deep, it could stem from apparent reasons. For instance, standing next to someone who looks more elegant can make one reassess their outfit and financial situation all at once. A way to overcome this is by always appearing well-groomed while doing so within your financial means and being confident in the qualities you possess that lies within.
Impostor Syndrome
This term describes an individual who feels inadequate and incompetent despite their achievements. Impostor syndrome withholds one from growth and it is quite rampant in the corporate world. Some employees work so hard, that they practically carry their department on their shoulders, but they are unable to assume the leadership position they deserve because they are yet to properly represent and speak up for themselves.
In the defence of employers of labour, who wants to promote an employee who can’t promote himself or herself? Please note that impostor syndrome does not apply to people who are mediocre. If you feel inadequate and with good reasons, then promoting yourself should take a backseat for the time being, you should prioritize improving your skills. That being said, if no one knows what they are doing, then no one should feel like an impostor. The world is waiting to believe in you, but that can only happen if you believe in yourself.
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