For many women, pregnancy can bring a mix of joy and anxiety, often accompanied by significant changes in their relationships, particularly in the bedroom. On Thursday, November 21 2024, in Lagos Island, Lagos State, Vera Chikezie-Oke, a Certified Clinical Sexuality Coach and convener of Wholesome Sexuality, brought a message of hope and empowerment to pregnant women. Through her hospital outreach, she aimed to dispel myths and inspire women to embrace the health benefits of intimacy during pregnancy.

“Our mission is to teach couples how to enjoy good sex in marriage, even during pregnancy,” Vera shared with a warm smile. “Sex isn’t just about pleasure; it’s God’s gift, and it brings couples closer even in this unique season of their lives.”

Vera shared her motivation for launching the initiative, drawing on insights from years of practice.
“In my practice, I found that many women experience minimal or total shutdown in intercourse during pregnancy. This often leads to cranky or moody husbands who feel disconnected which also affects the marriage. After delivery, it becomes even harder to resume intimacy because they didn’t maintain that tempo during pregnancy,” she said.

To address these challenges, Wholesome Sexuality decided to meet women in their familiar settings—antenatal clinics. “Today marks the beginning of many hospital outreaches where we’ll educate, empower, and inform women on how to enjoy sex during and after pregnancy,” Vera explained.

Vera also tackled common myths about pregnancy sex, using personal anecdotes to illustrate her points.
“From my own experience, I enjoyed intercourse until the very last day of my pregnancy. Labor would start afterward, and I would give birth smoothly. But many women I’ve interacted with say, ‘I don’t want him to come near me,’ or, ‘We’re only doing it because we have to.’ This mindset not only impacts their current intimacy but also creates a gap after childbirth,” she noted.

The sexpert stressed that, barring medical complications, pregnancy sex is not only safe but also beneficial. “One of the benefits is that it helps prepare the cervix for delivery,” she added.

While the outreach was a success, Vera highlighted a significant challenge: the absence of men.
“It takes two to get pregnant, but only the women were here today. In our African mentality, we often place the responsibility solely on the woman, forgetting that men play a major role,” she said. “What many men don’t realize is that their involvement is crucial in preparing the woman’s body to respond positively, sexually and otherwise.”

She encouraged couples to approach pregnancy as a partnership, emphasizing the importance of mutual support and understanding.