Some people as a result of their upbringing or past experience are incapable of receiving love and compliments. They are uncomfortable at the slightest show of love, probably because they are used to harshness. Others cannot receive compliments because they are insecure. When you compliment these set of people, they say things like “Stop flattering me.’’ When they say this, you are forced to convince them that you really mean what you are saying. Others suffer from over-confidence. A lady was genuinely complimented the dress of her friend and the over-confident friend replied by saying, “I know.’’ Another lady went as far as telling the compliment giver the name of the designer, where and how much she bought the product.
The dictionary defines a compliment as a remark that expresses praise or admiration of somebody or something.
It has to do with admiration coupled with appreciation of someone’s effort, attitude or achievements.
Everyone appreciates compliments and even crave it when necessary. A lady complained bitterly about how she was tired of her relationship with her fiancé.
“He never compliments me. He has never told me I look beautiful or likes my dress,’’ she complained.
Another lady burst into tears after she had spent about five hours in the salon and upon her return, her husband did not even notice if she made her hair. It hurts even more that she had told him she went to the salon, yet he did not make the link between her stay in the salon and the new hairstyle on her head.
A man told me dejectedly how he went out of his way to buy new clothes in order to impress his working class wife and yet, she did not notice anything different in his physical appearance.
Yes, compliments are needed to make us feel good about ourselves, but we must note that our happiness should not depend on them.
The fact that you didn’t receive that compliment you desire from your spouse is not enough to declare war or get hurt. Be mature. Instead of saying things like, “you never compliment my dress, I’m wearing it because of you.’’
Choose to be happy and let your joy, patience and perseverance change your spouse, not your nagging or tears. Be patient with your spouse if he/she does not know how to give compliments. Do not allow his/her lack of compliments steal your joy. Teach him/her how to compliment, but even if he/she refuses, continue with your life.
At the family level we should teach our households how to give and receive compliments on a daily basis. We know that many parents do not know how to give or receive compliments. Such should embark on a self-education experiment.
Love you!
We should, however, not let the children pick up this bad attitude. They should be taught how to compliment each other and also, how to compliment you. Love you!
It may be funny at first, but press on so that you can have a family that is well brought up — a civilised family.
We should, however, not let the children pick up this bad attitude. They should be taught how to compliment each other and also, how to compliment you. Love you!
