Today, Friday, February 13, 2026, my friend and fellow member of Oluku Club, Joseph Olobashola, is being buried in Ibadan. He died suddenly in October last year; he was not known to have taken ill.

Joe was jovial and friendly; he was a gentleman man, a generous contributor to every worthy cause and project the club embarked on. He was a farm expert, to put it grandiloquently, or, to put it simply, a farmer. With work experience that spanned both the public and private sectors, including Guinness, IITA, the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta where he retired as Director of its DUFARMS, and Obasanjo Farms. He was well and widely respected for his competence and experience. Beyond his specialisation however, he was a lover of books and a voracious reader – a relentless seeker of knowledge. There goes a good man!

Joe is the third member of our club to die within the 12 months of 2025. Others were our former two- term national president and leader par excellence, Julius Bayo Onietan, and Dele Arokoyo an active and respectable member of our club. Only one of them, Onietan, attained threescore and ten years that the Psalmist suggested as ‘the days of our years’. This article is dedicated to the memory of the trio.

I will be 72 later this year, God willing.  Suddenly, I become aware that I could be the next to ‘go.’And, hey, why not? I didn’t choose to come to the world, nor the time and place; I do not expect to decide when and where to go. The Book of Wisdom 2:5 says ‘For our lifetime is the passing of a shadow, and our dying cannot be deferred, because it is fixed with a seal, and no one returns.’

Death being the inevitable reality –and end- of life, suddenly, the fact of dying concentrates my mind (severely, I might say) on death and associated matters. I now ruminate over the meaning and meaningfulness of my life in the period between arrival here and departure.  What will be my legacy to those I leave behind? Having had contact with me one way or another, what value will I have added to them that linger beyond my physical presence?

As it is for me when I’m gone, so, I should think, it is for every man and woman the relevant and urgent question: ‘how do you want to be remembered?’

I have chosen to write on this topic on the reasonable assumption that we are reconciled (do we have any choice anyway?) with the idea that our death is, in due time, certain, and that some of the people we live behind will, somehow, somewhere, reflect on our  good and bad deeds while we were alive. Someone said that we shall be remembered in spite of us. This granted, how do you, dear reader, want to be remembered?

‘How do you want to be remembered’ is actually one of the most useful questions we can ask ourselves. It forces us to strip away the noise, the titles, the “likes,” and to focus on the essence of who we are and what we truly value. Consider this:  have you written a tribute to a late friend, mentor, parent, or coworker? Did you write all you knew about the person? What aspect of the person’s life did you focus on? Would the person have written the tribute the way you wrote it?

I recall Shakespeare’s play “As You Like It” where it is written that the world is a stage, men and women are actors on the seven stages of life. At some point in these trajectory, we start, somehow, to think of our legacy.

Let us consider a few questions pertinent to this weighty matter. 

First, why does this matter matter at all?
We all leave footprints—some big, some barely visible. But, the way we are remembered is not something that happens to us; it’s something – I call it legacy – that we create through the choices we make every day.

Second, what is Legacy?

Is it character displayed in ordinary moments? Influence on people’s lives? Wealth accumulated? Power?  Sacrifices? Or a combination of these and more? I think Legacy is more about our little, consistent, but impactful actions that add up over a lifetime and influence other people strongly enough to stay in their memory.
 
Third, the question, ‘how do you want to be remembered?’ can be answered a simple three-legged framework standing upon the three Ps of these guiding words: Presence, Purpose, and Partnership.

‘Presence’ means being fully there for the people around you. This includes listening without planning your response, showing up on time, and giving your undivided attention when it matters.

‘Purpose’ is to have a clear sense of what to do and why you do what you do. It is not just about climbing a career ladder; it’s about contributing to something bigger than the Self—whether it is mentoring a junior colleague, volunteering in your community, or simply being a trustworthy friend.

‘Partnership’ recognises that none of us succeeds alone. It’s about lifting others, sharing credit, and building relationships that last beyond a single project. Partnership is teamwork that divides the efforts and multiplies the outcome.

Having said all these, I hereby suggest an exercise.  

With full appreciation of how you have lived your life so far, try to conceptualise and write your own tribute, post-death, guided by the following ideas:
a. The “Obituary” Exercise.  Write a short obituary for yourself (150-200 words). What do you want the headline to be? What achievements, character traits, or relationships do you highlight?
b. The “Peak Moments” List. Jot down three moments in your life when you felt most proud. What common thread runs through them? That thread often points to your core values.

c. The “Feedback Mirror.” Ask trusted friends or colleagues: “What’s one thing you think I do that makes a positive difference to or on you?” Their answers can reveal how others already perceive – and value- you.

All these however remain in the realm of good intention, unless, and until acted upon.

Turning intention into action
Knowing how you want to be remembered is only half the job; living it daily is the other, more demanding half. Here are three practical habits that can help you stay aligned with the “three P’s” of Presence, Purpose, and Partnership. After all, Bruce Lee reminds that the key to immortality is first to live a life worth remembering at all. So true.

‘Presence’ implies and includes a daily ‘check-in’ with other people.  Each morning, ask yourself, “What can I do today to ‘be there’ for someone?” It could be as simple as sending a thoughtful text or giving a colleague a few minutes of spirit-lifting uninterrupted conversation. “Extend good wishes to others [in thought and action], and you will feel blessed yourself’ says Maxwell Maltz, medical doctor and best-selling writer on Psycho-cybernetics.

The ‘Purpose’ reminder is to daily remind yourself, “Am I moving the needle on what matters?”
 ‘Partnership’ practice. This involves that every week, you can schedule a coffee or a virtual chat with someone who’s not in your immediate team—just to learn, share, and see how you can help, yes, help. For, come to think about it, we each certainly have something of value to give each other. No man is created valueless, none.

Small, consistent actions are what turn a vision of “how I want to be remembered” into a lived reality.

We all have a finite number of days on the calendar of life. Indeed, it is said that the day we are born is the day we begin to die. Very true. A hundred years is only thirty six thousand days. This being so, the question isn’t if we’ll be remembered, it is how.
 
By a) defining now that how, and b) acting on it henceforth, without delay, we give ourselves a compass that guides our choices, our relationships, and our contributions to the world we live in.
 
I ask you, reader, directly and honestly: “What story do you want told about you?” Take a moment to reflect on and share it with someone you trust. Thenceforth, begin to live your posthumous story today. The best legacy is the one we build while we are here.  

In the words of Albert Pike ‘What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains, and is immortal’. Lexicographer Daniel Webster similarly says: ‘What a man does for, not what they do for him, gives him immortality’. I cannot agree more.

Read the remaining part of this article on www.guardian.ng

I present below, additional materials to help shape your thoughts on your ‘life after life’, after you are physically no more.

The following are some books that can guide the shaping of a lasting legacy.

What Is My Legacy? by Martin Luther King III, Andrea Waters King, Marc Kielburger and Craig Kielburger offers a fresh framework for living your legacy. It is packed with exercises, daily practices, and reflections to turn values into action.

Designing Your Life by Burner & Evans. This is a design-thinking guide that helps you prototype a life you love, it is perfect for turning big ideas into concrete steps.

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman is a short, punchy read on time management that nudges you to focus on what truly matters which is a cornerstone for any legacy plan.

Furthermore, the following are quick life-planning tips you can start without delay.

Define your values. Pinpoint what really matters (integrity, compassion, creativity) and let those guide every decision you take.

Set meaningful goals. Choose objectives that align with your values and push you toward achieving something larger than yourself .

Invest in relationships. Strong ties with family, friends, and community constitute the bedrock of a fulfilling-and fulfilled – life .

Share your knowledge. Mentor someone, teach a skill, or simply recount experiences; it leaves a lasting mark  on your audience.

Document your story. Write memoirs, record interviews, or compile a family history to preserve lessons for future generations.

Practice financial prudence. Manage money responsibly so you can support loved ones and the causes you care about.

Live with integrity. Let honesty and ethics steer your actions; it inspires others to follow suit. Let’s face it: the people most remembered and cited in History are people of integrity manifested through their unique personalities.

Embrace lifelong learning. Stay curious, keep picking up new skills, and adapt as you go. Never let the world leave you behind.

Read one or more of the recommended books and pick a couple of the tips that resonate most with you—you’ll be building your legacy while shaping a life you love.

The following are some relevant quotes to this topic.

“No legacy is so rich as honesty.” writes William Shakespeare. Shannon Alder says “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” “Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.” opines Taylor Swift  and Billy Graham  counsels, “The greatest legacy you can pass on to your children and grandchildren is not money but a legacy of character and faith.”
So much for good legacy.

On the contrary, William Shakespeare, on bad legacy offers that “The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones”.

“Fake friends… pretend they love you, but behind their backs, they know they are in to destroy your legacies.” says Israelmore Ayivor and Germany Kent admonishes, “Speak with caution. Even if someone forgives harsh words you’ve spoken, they may be too hurt to ever forget them. Don’t leave a legacy of pain and regret of things you never should have said.” 

These lines capture the contrast: a good legacy is built on honesty, kindness, and the impact you have on people’s hearts, while a bad legacy lingers when we let negativity, betrayal, or unkind words and actions shape how we’re remembered.

Roman statesman and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius (161 -180 AD) opined, in the words of Holiday& Hanselman (2016:26), that the end of life is not unlike a ripe fruit falling from its tree [although we ripen at different ages]. The ancient philosopher urged, “pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with Nature, and come to your final resting place gracefully…” I should add the advice of another wise man who said, ‘when you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life [such] that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice’.

Three persons in history who come readily to mind in respect of enduring legacy are, in Nigeria, Chief Obafemi Awolowo for good governance, in Africa, Thomas Sankara for love of country and the courage to act on it at the cost of his life, and in ancient Israel, a youthful king Solomon for the most thoughtful request to God ever – wisdom (see The Book of Wisdom chapter 9).

Deriving from our God-given free will, the choice is yours and mine how we want to be remembered. 

Jimba holds a doctorate in Nuclear Engineering from Texas A&M University, College Station. A leading member of Oluku Club, he lives in Abuja.