AFTER discipline, draw your children nearer and express your love to them. The word “discipline” and “disciple” are from the same root. Discipline is to make your child your disciple.

Many children do not feel loved. Many husbands, wives do not feel loved. Make it your goal to always make your family feel loved. What if my children are stubborn and lazy, you may ask? What if my spouse is that same way, can I still love them? Well that is when the quality of your love is tested.

The normal human love is patterned after “do me, I do you.” But the love of God is different. Romans 5:8 says: “But God commandeth his love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Right there on the cross, He carried our sins and died in our place while we were rebellious and stubborn.

How do you apply this in your home? What if your spouse has thoroughly misbehaved? Do not withdraw your love. Make your love antenna higher. It is at that time the quality of your love is tested. If you have five children, for example, three of them are well behaved while two of them are very stubborn and often misbehave, should you love the three well behaved ones more than the other two? Naturally, you would want to do so.

In 2Corinthians 10:12, we are told it is not wise to make comparison. When you compare your children with others, you will unconsciously begin to withdraw your love. When you compare your spouse with others, you are on the way for your marriage to crumble.

No matter how much your spouse or children misbehave; there should be one area where they do well. That area may be very little, use your touch light to search for it and use it as the entry point to constantly praise and express your love to them. Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.