Building and maintaining good relationship
Text: Ecclesiastics 4:7-12
Man is created for partnership and relationship. No single man can survive alone. See Eccl. 4:10. There are kinds of relationships.
• Parent – Child
• Same sex
• Opposite sex
• Midst sex
• Older and younger age
But we will deal with relationship in general terms.
What is Relationship?
This has to do with connectivity between two or more persons. The way they talk, behave and deal with one another. Two things here are building and maintaining.
Note: It is cheaper to build than to maintain.
To build is to acquire. To maintain is to keep it alive, lovely, beautiful and enviable.
Don’t try to please your friends, but try to do the right things that please God and right to be done — no man can be pleased.
Tips for good relationship
• Keep vows and promises – Eccl. 5:5
• Be friendly
• Tolerance — know that everyone is different hence the need to tolerate — no man is perfect.
• Learn to say thank you – Prov. 27:9 – use several ways to appreciate. Send SMS, post, cards among others.
• Learn to say I am sorry
Admits your wrong – Psalm 51:3
(b) Accept apologies with excuses – 1 Peter 4:8; Prov. 10:12
(c) Pursue in peace – Rom. 14:19, 12:18; Heb. 12:14
(d) Don’t make fun of the guilt – Prov. 14:9.
(e) See Luke 17:3-4 – forgive him
• Learn to appreciate the good qualities in your friend. Be attentive to discover their good qualities rather than dwell in the bad ones.
• Learn to apply withdrawal method – Prov. 5:17.
• Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
• Learn to share gifts – don’t always be at the receiving end, also learn to give. Eccl. 20:29; Ex. 23:8.
• Don’t force your friend(s) to change their behaviour(s): it will bring friction, but make them see reason(s) to change. Have a positive contagious behaviour.
• Always deal with offence before it gets hardened – Prov. 18:19.
• Be what you want your friends to be – Prov. 18:24.
• Get involved in life enhancing and positive discussions.
• Always be sure of everything before you become the bearer of your friend’s tale.
• Try to play and have fun all the time, it eases tensions.
• Love – Prov. 17:17, this should be unconditional with no string attached.
• Encourage one another
• Accept responsibility
• Manage emotions
• Respect each other’s positive opinions, privacy, personality, pride and possessions (the five Ps of respect.
• Don’t be lazy and slothful – Prov. 18:9.
• Always pray for and together, and encourage each other to study the word.
Oil Of Relationship
Our text reveals sample of human being in face in life:
•Those who seek for opportunity to craftily destroy you.
• Those who support you and make sure you have a table of honour.
• Those who pour out their oil that you may shine.
• Those who criticise you and see nothing good around you.
• Those who are channel for Satan and the enemy to penetrate you.
What kind of human are you? This woman had oil.
– The oil was costly.
– The oil could have been sold or used for herself.
– As a woman, the oil was an important part of her, but she valued her relationship and wanted her master to shine more than her. When you try to better other people’s life, you are making your own life beautiful.
Every relationship in life requires an outpouring. What are you pouring out for others?
Relationship helps you to be better, as well as gives you a healthy mind.