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Activities That Keep Single Dads In Their Child’s Life

By Chinelo Eze
20 June 2021   |   11:27 am
The end of a marriage is a life changer in the world of all involved, be it a separation by death, coming to terms with this new reality is a difficult one. Being separated was unlikely a goal for anyone who is in this category and considering its social implication, the children of such a…

Although separated, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey have had a budding relationship | Image: Getty Images

The end of a marriage is a life changer in the world of all involved, be it a separation by death, coming to terms with this new reality is a difficult one. Being separated was unlikely a goal for anyone who is in this category and considering its social implication, the children of such a union should be cautiously considered.

From the manifestation of separation between partners, the selfish instinct becomes aggressive as they struggle for the right to keep and ensure the wellbeing of the child/children. Unlike single mums, single dads – either divorced or not – often find it harder to maintain their relationship with the child/children.

Single mums often share un-identical experiences with single dads. After a bitter divorce, some single mums can become emotional wrecks, often imploring the children, through bribing, to gain their understanding and affection, whereas the kids just want their daddy and mummy back together. Take cognisance that as an adult you have been able to grow mechanisms on how to manage the upheavals in life, whereas children are new to this and not familiar with getting their emotions toyed with.

Whatever form of separation, it takes an emotional toll on everyone, particularly immediate individuals, the couples and their child/children. This is because this paradigm shift alters their initial reality. Hence, they struggle with acceptance of the present reality by finding balance in their new realities which becomes, to a certain extent, an impossible vision. Then, especially during a divorce, a new mode of communication is constructed to engage each party involved to ensure an easy transition for the kids.

Often, women gain custody of the child because it is believed that they do a better job, while the now single dads move on to start new families. Indeed, during the course of the separation, many kids are shut out of the lives of a dad or a mum.

But for the purpose of this work, what can Dads do to significantly feature in their child’s life despite the divorce/separation?

Firstly, single dads could create an enabling environment that does not breed discord or resentment. To create a re-bond for their child/children, single Dads ought to understand the new terrain plus the new rules. Adjusting is perplexing but put aside the squabbles you have with your partner rather than transferring aggression to your child. Acknowledge that just as much as your mental health is at stake, it is only worse for the child. Therefore, use your fatherly instincts and traits and be self-giving rather than being selfish. Therefore, think of how certain actions you make may affect the child both psychologically and emotionally.

Divorce is a topsy-turvy experience, but another thing to do is to stay positive even though you are prone to be robbed of it. Eliminate the bad vibes all around you.

Establishing a viable relationship with your estranged partner is pivotal to the above goals of strengthening the relationship with the child/children. It creates a working atmosphere that allows for both parties to work without fear.

Through this way, their offspring will have the influence of a dad and mum in their lives, regardless of the altered pattern.

A birthday cake. | image: Getty Images

Who does not have a birthday? Such days are necessary to influence the child’s life.

They will build up to form memories the child will forever cherish. Gifts are good, but your presence is the best gift ever. Showing up when possible, especially in schools or for extracurricular activities top the lists. This could only be achieved when there is mutual trust between the estranged couples.

Strive to have a steady presence in the child’s life focusing on the needs of the child to which helps the assurance of being loved as a single dad, which is a success story in the child-dad relationship.

As per finding ways to stay sane involves staying in the child’s life, single dads should adopt certain activities to foster the child-dad relationship. Be honest with your child even though you think they might not understand the situation, it might not all make sense to them at first, but they can sniff the honesty on you. Therefore, lying will only cause more havoc and create a larger barrier. So, do not be a “liar liar pants on fire”.