Demystifying The Bro Code
There seems to be a re-awakening conversation around the “Bro Code”, most especially when Nigerian comedian Bovi released a video in which he featured his wife to play a prank on his friends. Bovi and his wife stood together while she placed a call to one of his friends asking about the comedian’s whereabouts.
She claimed to not have seen him all day. The friend on the line responded that Bovi was not close-by at that moment, however, he was walking towards him and promised to get back to her in two minutes. Not long after, he called Bovi to inform him, not without asking him what to do.
That is a classic application of the Bro Code.
Note: All ladies can stop reading at this point, we are about to delve into some deep issues that would come off to ladies as misogynistic.
What is the Bro Code? Who is a bro? And why do these rules apply to him?
The Bro Code is a friendship etiquette to be followed among men, specifically, among the members of the “bro subculture”. A set of rules meant to be a guideline to live by between Bros.
The bro subculture or lifestyle lacks consistent definition however it is commonly associated with young men, and even more common among college fraternities. These young men self-identify with the term “bro”.
The bro codes can be likened to an unwritten constitution that bonds a group of friends. These rules dictate how bros ought to act in most social engagements. The rules range from how to relate with each other as bros to relations with the female folks and especially the one thing that “should” bond all bros – beer.
In a secluded relaxation spot in Lagos, two bros sat over a bottle of uncensored content to demystify the Bro Codes. It appears that some of these codes do not seem to go down well as smooth beer with all bros.
- Bros before h*es –
A ‘h*e’ is defined as any woman that is not your wife, girlfriend or any other direct family.
This is the most sacred rule among Bros. Virtually all other codes hinge on this one rule. This rule posits that in any situation where a Bro and any girl not related by blood or marriage are involved, you must stick by your Bro no matter what. H*e’s are not allowed to come in between bro’s. Bro’s therefore, never fight one another over ladies. If a woman comes in between them, they drop her since Bromance is considered to be a lot more important than a h*e.
There never seems to be any argument pertaining to this rule.
- A bro shall always remain loyal to his bros
Loyalty is the most important virtue that binds bros. Breaking this particular code is tantamount to bro-treason, it’s sacrilegious and unforgivable. If a bro asks you to keep a secret, you take it to the grave, no exceptions! Bros shall never reveal their bro-code rules to any lady.
- It is NEVER acceptable for a Bro to date/have sexual relations with another Bro’s ex:
This code strictly forbids a bro from having any sexual affair with a bro’s ex.
This, however, has been the subject of debate. It low-key divides many bros as leaving them in a dicey situation when an “unusual circumstance” arises.
Although it is difficult to predict or even define an unusual circumstance, some argue by saying that it doesn’t apply if she (the ex) initiates it.
But what do bros think?
Bro 1: “It is a betrayal of our friendship if my guy sleeps with my ex.”
Bro 2: “I don’t see anything wrong if it’s just casual sex and not a long-time relationship.”
- A Bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his Bros are doing it.
This is a no-brainer. If, for instance, you typically don’t listen to Naira Marley but you’re hanging out with your bro and they are dancing to “Soapy” song. You can’t baulk bro, you must immediately [with pure shared joy] identify as a fellow Marlian.
Take a cue from Femi Otedola and Dangote chanting “Gelato!”.
- A bro shall be responsible for the ‘weaker’ bro
The alpha-bro shall be responsible in building the self-esteem of ‘weaker’ bro by handing out time-tested wisdom and power of his skills, especially when it comes to dating and business. If a bro is out of employment the other bros should pull strings to get him another gig. Never make your bro look bad, especially in front of a lady he is targeting. And when you help out a bro, nobody outside the pack should ever get to hear of it.
- If a Bro finds his Bro’s girlfriend repulsive or tricky, he shall not say anything until they have broken up.
Not only is a bro’s girl off-limit, but certain discussions about her are also considered off-limits. This means that you keep mute irrespective of what you perceive about her.
Bro 1: “So should I keep my mouth shut and pretend like I know nothing if I discover that my bro is being played by his girl?”
Bro 2: “This is tricky but I’ll tell my guy and damn the consequence.”
- When your bro’s girlfriend inquires about his whereabouts you know nothing, always.
If your bro’s girlfriend calls to inquire where he was last night you shall always claim to have been with him even when you haven’t seen or met the said bro for a month.
It is safe to say that the only exception to this rule is a life-threatening emergency.