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Emotions: How To Manage Envy

Q:

My best friend and I started out together in the corporate world. We studied in the same college and have been friends for eight years. From the past few years, she has been climbing the corporate ladder. She gets amazing promotions and earns double than I earn every month. Unfortunately, I have secretly started envying her now. I work equally hard but I think my luck is not in my favour. I know I should be her well-wisher but this jealousy streak makes me feel bad. What is wrong with me?

Portrait of a young woman on a white background. http://s3.amazonaws.com/drbimages/m/pripri.jpg

A:

I can only imagine how you feel deep down. While you love your best friend and the relationship you have with her, and, you can’t stop feeling jealous of her success.

The comparison could bring your confidence level down. It can create a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction. Let me tell you that it’s natural to envy your friend, especially when you work just as hard as her and have similar qualifications.

Feeling of being dissatisfied if used in the right way could prove to be a reason for your motivation. It could give you the zeal to be successful.

My suggestion to you would be to first accept you feel dissatisfied and be okay with your feelings. Observe what she is doing right and adopt the right behaviour. Find your personality strengths and match your career with it. Ask yourself and experts from your field about what could you do to be more successful.

Having said this, there will always be someone who would do better than you. So try to better than what you did yesterday.

Get help from a professional counsellor to help you with your emotions.

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