Nollywood actress Damilola Adegbite has explained why she has not remarried after her first marriage, saying raising a child has changed how she now approaches relationships.

The actress made this known on Thursday in a video shared on her Instagram page, where she spoke about the realities of parenting and the responsibility that comes with choosing a partner as a single parent.

She said the question about remarriage came up during a conversation with a friend, and her response was immediate.

“I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, and they asked me a very important question. They asked me why I haven’t remarried after my first marriage, and honestly, the answer came to me very easily. It wasn’t even something I had to think of.

“If you’re a single mother or a single parent or you’re having to raise a child on your own and you’re looking to remarry, your decision-making has to be different from when you were single. You’re not just choosing a partner for yourself anymore. You are choosing a second parent for your child.”

Adegbite stressed that many people focus on emotional fulfilment in relationships without considering the impact on their children.

She noted that beyond love and companionship, the character and values of a potential partner should be carefully assessed.

“And I feel like a lot of us could be focusing on how this person treats us, how this person makes us feel, how much they love us, how much they show up for us, but we also need to pay attention to how they show up for our children.

“It’s not that I haven’t met some amazing men, but there’s a deeper question beyond all that. And it is, do they have the morals, the values, the character that I would like my child to grow up around or to be influenced by?”

She added that choosing a partner as a parent goes beyond personal feelings and requires careful thought about the child’s future.

“You have to be sure that the person you’re bringing into your life and into your child’s life or your children’s life is capable of being a good parent. Someone who would treat your child like theirs, so much so that if a stranger walked into a room where the three of you or all of you were, they would never for once doubt that your children were your partner’s biological children.

“It’s not a decision that you should make carelessly. You cannot be so caught up in your feelings that you do not think about your child’s needs, because at the end of the day, you’re not just building a relationship, you are building a home.

“So if you are in this position, a man or a woman, choose wisely, not just for you, but for the life you are creating for your child or your children.”

Adegbite was previously married to Ghanaian actor Chris Attoh, with whom she shares a son.

The couple got engaged in 2014, welcomed their son the same year, and later tied the knot on February 14, 2015, at a private ceremony in Accra, Ghana.

However, their marriage ended in 2017 after months of speculation, with Attoh confirming the split.

He had described her as “a wonderful woman and an amazing mother,” adding that they would continue to raise their child with love and support.

Reflecting on the failed marriage in a 2021 interview, Adegbite said she had no regrets about the experience.

She explained that the end of the union taught her that love alone cannot sustain a relationship.

“It didn’t work. I learned a massive lesson from that experience and it is that love is not enough. When you meet somebody and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, love is just one of the qualities that you need, but it’s not everything.”

She also challenged the common belief that a failed marriage is always a tragedy.

According to her, “a failed marriage is not the tragedy people make it out to be. Not every marriage is ordained by God.”

The actress added that she gave her best in the marriage and has since focused on raising her son, even though parenting comes with difficult moments.
Chris Attoh and Damilola Adegbite

She said balancing honesty with what a child can understand remains one of the challenges.

“I know how to manoeuvre my way through, but it’s hard to be able to strike a balance between the truth and what he needs to know.”