“I Didn’t Actually Want A Marriage”- Oprah Winfrey On Why She Never Married
The 65-year-old revealed that she had doubts after they got engaged and realised she "didn't actually want a marriage."
The chat show host wrote:
“I realised I didn’t actually want a marriage I wanted to be asked. I wanted to know he felt I was worthy of being his missus, but I didn’t want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work. My life with the show was my priority, and we both knew it.”
She went on to explain that their relationship has survived this long because Graham has an identity beyond being “Oprah's man,” as well as the fact that they “relish seeing the other fulfil and manifest their destiny and purpose.”
Not only that, the couple believe that if they had got married they would not still be together.
“Anyone who’s ever met him is always amazed by what a genuine gentleman he is,” Winfrey wrote.
“He’s so positive. Wants the best for me and everyone he knows. He’s appropriately named because he’s steady as a mountain. Even-tempered, accountable, trustworthy, patient.”
Winfrey goes on to say that she defines her relationship with Stedman as a “spiritual partnership”, citing spiritual teacher Gary Zukav's definition of the term, which is a “partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth”.
Just last year, Winfrey spoke about her decision to not marry or have children. According to her, the years she spent on The Oprah Winfrey Show exposed her to “the depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother”.
Speaking to People Magazine, she said:
“I realised, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is,'” Winfrey told People magazine.
“I don’t have the ability to compartmentalise the way I see other women do. It is why, throughout my years, I have had the highest regard for women who choose to be at home [with] their kids, because I don’t know how you do that all day long.
“Nobody gives women the credit they deserve.”
On whether she regrets not having children, she says she has “filled that maternal fold” with charitable work.
“I also believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfil it in the way that was best for me: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa,” she says.
“Those girls fill that maternal fold that I perhaps would have had. In fact, they overfill — I’m overflowed with maternal."