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8 Signs That You Are A Sidepiece

“You just know” is the general response given when asked how to know if you’re the sidepiece in a “relationship”. But asides from your gut feeling, which is equally important, there are always tell-tale signs that you are not number 1 on your man’s relationship priority list.


1. Meet at home for sex

Is most of your time together spent meeting at his place or yours for sex? Sure sometimes there’s a movie on the couch or a massage and you can attempt to talk about your day. But, before the night is up, you’re going to have sex. When it starts to feel like all he wants from you is sex, that’s probably a sign that you’re just a sidechick and he’s getting a deeper connection elsewhere.

2. No public dates

Let’s assume you do go outside the four corners of a room. Where do you usually go on your dates? Is he more of a private stroll around a park kind of person? When you go to bars or restaurants, does she insist on a table in a secluded corner or in the centre of the room? Of course, all this could be irrelevant and mean nothing, but it could also mean she/he doesn’t want to risk being seen in public with you.

3. No emotional connection

How much does this person care about you? Is he/she concerned about what goes on in your life? Does he/she care if certain actions and words hurt you? If you’re involved with a person, there should be some form of emotional attachment. If this person isn’t concerned with your emotional state or avoids building an emotional attachment to you, you are most likely a sidepiece.

4. Limited availability

How often do you get to see this person? I know we all get caught up in our lives from time to time, but you make time to be with people you care about. If your partner is significantly unavailable, there’s definitely something fishy going on. Even worse, if these absences are unexplained or the excuses are poorly thought through. Can you only hangout late at night? Why? Is he/she more comfortable meeting you at a certain place on weekends? Why? These are the questions.

5. No public recognition

A lot of people say this isn’t a big deal and really shouldn’t factor into the strength of a relationship. But, if we’re being honest, it kinda does. When you are proud of something, you show it off. When you get new shoes or a new car, you tweet about it, and put up pictures on Instagram. You use your friends’ pictures as you display pictures on your messengers and such. So, if this person doesn’t mind being in your life, and wants you in his/hers, why do they want to be lowkey about it?

6. Friends don’t know you or treat you like trash

Have you met his/her friends? How do they act around you? Someone who is trying to avoid having any emotional connection with you will most likely not take you to meet the friends. But then there are those who genuinely don’t care and introduce you to the friends who are very aware that you are the sidepiece. Depending on the character of these people, it might not be such a great thing.

7. Missing out on holidays/important dates

If he/she is always missing out on important dates, that another sign that there is no real commitment. Do you spend holidays together or does he always have “previous engagements?” Does she have to miss your birthday because of one family emergency or the other? If someone is postponing a celebration, they probably have to celebrate it someone else on the actual day.

8. A sinking feeling in your gut

What does your intuition say about this person? Is there too much shadiness in your relationship? Why stay in the dark? Stalk your partner if you need to and find out what you need to know. Most would have you believe you’re being paranoid, but our intuition is very rarely wrong.

There are those who are fortunate enough to know from the beginning that they aren’t their partners’ significant other. Some people actually relish being a sidepiece – very minimal commitment. But if you aren’t one of these people and you suspect you are not your partner’s significant other, look out for these signs. Not all the boxes will be ticked, but you will know the truth if you really want to.

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