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Helping A Friend Through Hard Times

By Bridget
09 July 2016   |   3:52 pm
It can be difficult to know what to say to a friend who is going through a heart break as a result of a breakup. Some people might naturally come through with this without hitches, but for some; where to start and what to really say is the issue. Many of us have been in…

It can be difficult to know what to say to a friend who is going through a heart break as a result of a breakup. Some people might naturally come through with this without hitches, but for some; where to start and what to really say is the issue. Many of us have been in a situation like this before—it might not necessarily be a heart break, it could be the loss of a loved one, a job or even celebrations of life; to handle the situation on ground doesn’t come naturally to us except with an extra effort, sometimes we give up too easily, because we feel our words or actions are not enough or not yielding result.

Whatever situation is peculiar to you, it is important that we show support in any way that we can to encourage people who may be going through a phase of life. That said, a very good place to start is by being present for your friend, and then many other things follow.

Here are a few other ways that you can help a friend during heartbreaks.

  1. Allow them to feel what they need to feel at the moment

Every individual person handles breakups differently- and it is important to remember that whatever your friend is feeling is a valid at that moment. They could feel so broken that they need to cry, allow them to cry, in fact, encourage them to do to cry it all out; other display of emotions could be anger, moodiness, reckless behaviour, except for the extreme ones; it is important to let them be who they are for the moment as that the very first place where healing begins. How do you come in through this moment? State it clearly to them that as their friend, you are going to stay by their side to support them no matter what.

Helping A Friend Through A Hard Time

  1. Open room for discussion

In the case of breakup, the moment display of emotion is over, by that I mean; the cries, moodiness etc.; the next is to talk. Your friend at this moment needs an understanding, intelligent friend who can hear his own side of the story and communicate useful and helpful examination borne out of an understanding of the situation in question. One of the best ways to kick the door open for discussion is by genuinely caring for your friend’s needs. You can make them a good lunch, breakfast or dinner; you can help them out with the laundry, do a manicure or pedicure for them etc. After a breakup, the smallest tasks can seem burdensome and being able to have someone else take care of those for a while could lift a soul.

  1. Encourage them to accept the situation and move on

Try to help them see the need to avoid second-guessing their selves once a relationship is ended. Help them to see that even if they did not end it, there is really no need start over wondering what he did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted-so now what is right to do is to accept that the relationship is over and create room to have a fresh start to do it right next time.

Helping A Friend Through A Hard Time

  1. Help your friend find himself again

It’s not uncommon to lose one’s self in a relationship; your perspective to who you are begins to take a negative toll. Help your friend see that a breakup provides time for one to find one’s true self again. So encourage them to peak up the lesson that the past has made but not to allow it define who they really are. To further help them come out of that mood, you might need to start introducing them to things that sort of distracts their attention from their current state to something lively. Take them on a trip for site seeing; places they haven’t been before, take them to see the movies, to see a couple of friends etc. As you do this, encourage them to use this opportunity as a perfect time to analyse who they were before and who they want to be in the future. Little steps like this do help nourish a broken heart.

Helping A Friend Through A Hard Time

  1. Encourage your friend to be active

After all said and done, it wouldn’t help to know that your friend has stop engaging in those activities that he used to before. A breakup can easily make one to want to stay at home in nightclothes on the couch and just waist away. While this may be part of the grieving process for your friend, it is important that you also encourage him or her to get some fresh air. Drag them out for a 30 minute walk, a change of scenery can go a long way. What hobbies do they have? Find it and start helping them to re-engage in them. With enough distractions from the past, the past start to remain in the past where they are meant to be.

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