Love or ROI: GAB sparks conversation on modern relationships
In a lively mix of art, music, and social conversations, the January edition of Griots and Bards took place on Thursday, January 30, 2025, at Rap Joint, Ikoyi, Lagos. The evening event brought upwardly mobile Lagos residents, musicians, artists, and thought leaders from different backgrounds together to engage, reflect, connect, and unwind from the hustle of city life.
Early birds were treated to a music session that had them choose their favourite songs and reflect on the connection and nostalgia it bears on their daily life. Co-host and emcee, Turapper anchored the session. Among them were Destiny’s Child’s “Cater to You,” requested by Akinsoyinu Opemipo; the curator of GAB, REZAfolabi, chose Idris Abdulkareem’s “Mr. Lecturer”; Femi Morgan selected Jon Bellion’s “Hand of God”; Rafiat Gawat also took listeners to the 2000s with Brick and Lace’s “Love is Wicked,” while Louis chose Femi Temowo’s “Woods and Strings.” Their selected songs depended on their mood, their current situation, or a certain age between mischief and maturity.
The main session focused on the theme of Romance or ROI (Return on Investment) and explored the changing nature of love, relationships, marriage, and cultural expectations. Attendees shared their views on love and hypergamy through personal stories, psychological insights, and facts, making for a rich and engaging discussion. The heated session was also interspersed with musical performances and jibes.
Introducing the hot topic to the village square, REZAfolabi said, “A friend of mine once told me, ‘I don’t believe in love.’ And I asked her, ‘So if a guy treats you well but isn’t financially stable, would you still love him?’ She laughed and said, ‘What is love without provision?’ At first, I thought she was joking, but the more I looked around, the more I wondered: ‘Is she right? Is money really the foundation of modern relationships?’”
In his curatorial note, ‘Romance or ROI: The Price of Affection in Modern Relationships,’ he stated, “In today’s dating landscape, relationships seem to be increasingly influenced by financial power, social status, and transactional exchanges. With the rise of hypergamy, sugar relationships, and financial dependence in dating, the question arises: Is love still the foundation of relationships, or has leverage become the new currency?”
Communications expert Gawat stressed that financial stability is one of the important factors that will sustain a relationship and marriage. “Both men and women struggle with unclear expectations. No sudden miracle will fix this unless we confront the deep-seated obsession with status. I think that young guys choose the traditional rules when it is convenient. There is a woman for every man,” she said.
Meanwhile, culture influencer Morgan said, “We live in a world where the idea of marriage is fast dissolving. Our perception needs to be evaluated. I think women live in this fantasy more; we want to keep the pristine romance, but the realities on the ground are far from it. We have to find a way to displace all the nuances of culture that have kept us back as men and women so that we can renegotiate the terms of engagement in relationships and culture.”
Responding, Omowunmi Dada, a filmmaker and entrepreneur, differed on the notion that women dwelt on fantasy instead of reality. She said, “I beg to differ. Fantasies exist. The perception of fantasy is personal. Love is not a feeling; it’s a choice. At the end of the day, you choose your poison. In the long run, you have got to ask yourself, what do you want? Some ladies are comfortable with a man who simply dotes on them. Others are comfortable with riding in big cars when they know that the guy does not have so much to offer. At the end of the day, you just have to choose your poison because your friends will not come to save you.”
READ ALSO:Group laments rising rate of domestic violence, strained parent-child relationships
Also, lawyer Nen Kangmun stated that finding love and leveraging the social status of a male partner can be possible without being mutually exclusive. She also stressed that women should not be stigmatized for seeking financial stability in relationships.
However, author Chimelie Michael expressed concern over the consequences of money- or wealth-driven relationships. He said, “Among young men and women today, love is an illusion. Everyone is scared. In the next 10 to 15 years, the importance of marriage will decline; the institution will collapse.” David, a tech enthusiast, added, “I think we don’t define love well; I see that we don’t have patience, we don’t have long-suffering, we don’t have kindness.”
The robust discussions were interspersed with live musical performances by BR Olori, Yamoto, and Tosin Music. There were also open mic poetry performances by Nen Kangmun and Deji, a 3D animator and web designer by day and poet by night.
Speaking about the vision of GAB, REZAfolabi said, “GAB is where the intellectual depth of an Oxford debate meets the raw, real-world insights of street-corner conversations, combined with the creativity of open mic performances, the networking opportunities of industry meetups, and the transformative impact of a group therapy session.”
Guardian Life
Music
Film
Get the latest news delivered straight to your inbox every day of the week. Stay informed with the Guardian’s leading coverage of Nigerian and world news, business, technology and sports.
0 Comments
We will review and take appropriate action.