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Why Falling In Love Is Impossible

By Guardian Nigeria
11 February 2016   |   11:50 am
We know it’s a few days to the much anticipated Valentine’s day. Not here to spoil your ginger or quench your fire but darlings lets be real and come out of the world of ‘fishes roar too.’ We all love in different ways and in different capacities. The way you love your mum isn’t the…

We know it’s a few days to the much anticipated Valentine’s day. Not here to spoil your ginger or quench your fire but darlings lets be real and come out of the world of ‘fishes roar too.’

We all love in different ways and in different capacities. The way you love your mum isn’t the way you love your dad and definitely isn’t the way you love your spouse.

A lot of us say love is only true when it’s felt. Some say it’s the playground for just you two kids on it. Others believe it is only true when it has a happy ending. We say happy endings are stories that haven’t finished yet. But let me ask you this one candid question, can you describe the first seconds you fell in love?

Someone actually said this to us, “I found a certain person, who just happened to be the one who made me fall.” Describing it that way is totally misleading because it makes love sound clumsy, like, “Whoops, I just happened to fall in love and violaaaaaa! I’m in love now.

The first point here is darlings, you can’t fall in love. Neither can you stand, squat or bend in it. You choose it!

The chosen one might not even be the one you know, but the choice is absolutely yours. You can choose to fall in love and whom you fall in love with. It is not some fateful encounter you have no hand in (like dying). We have this thing called freedom of choice, which means we have the freedom to have any type of emotions for anyone we want. It doesn’t just happen or fall at your doorstep. If you want it, you have to work to get it.

When you really find someone who is compatible with you, who you can see yourself having a lasting future with, you will feel love. Because you can’t think it, or plan it, or fall in it, you can only feel it.

However, even people who are completely head over heels for each other have things they will need to work at. Active true love is having the ability and the patience to work through problems you will inevitably face and still choosing to love the other person in the end. We know this because we read somewhere and believe that love is learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

With these points by now, you will know that the famous ‘excuse’ for ending a relationship which is falling out of love is a lie. If you never fell in, you can’t fall out.

Learn to constantly choose to love your partner, because just the way we can choose our careers and religions, we can also choose to always love.

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