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Love Your Partner In Their Love Language

By Chikaodi Anwasi
05 December 2021   |   8:00 am
Being in love is a beautiful and an indescribable feeling. You meet someone for the first time and you desire to know more and spend quality time with the person; you learn the things the person loves, become friends with their friends and develop some changes in character. Most times, we ignore our wants and…

Being in love is a beautiful and an indescribable feeling.

You meet someone for the first time and you desire to know more and spend quality time with the person; you learn the things the person loves, become friends with their friends and develop some changes in character.

Most times, we ignore our wants and needs and focus on that of our partner just to prove our love. What about us? Our energy should be reciprocated. Knowing what your love language is can help you communicate with your partner how you want to be loved.

According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. Some are dominant and some, subservient.

QUALITY TIME

Spending quality time with our significant other is one thing these people do not take for granted. Even if no one is saying a word, being in their presence is all that matters. You spend ample time together if you

  • Go to the cinema together
  • Have fun conversations
  • Read books and share the knowledge

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Imagine being with someone who starts your day by reminding you of how amazing and special you are, calls or sends a message, and even when you are home after the day’s work, you are being told about how much of a great and selfless person you are. People say women love to hear sweet nothings, but did you know what men enjoy being admired too? Just like a woman, it boosts the man’s ego. Examples of words of affirmation are

  • “You are the best and no one comes close”
  • “Go and show the world how amazing you are”
  • “You look gorgeous in this dress. I can only imagine how many people would lose their breath today”
  • “I am proud of you”

Most times, they know but hearing their partner say it, changes everything.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

A touch from our significant other is pleasant and releases endorphins. For people in this category, a touch makes them feel loved. You can give

  • Random hugs
  • Kisses
  • Cuddles
  • Play with their hair

ACTS OF SERVICE

Acts of service involve engaging in an activity that would relieve your significant other. Medina Colaku, a Holistic therapist, puts it in a better way. She described Acts of Service as “An act of service is about dedicated time and effort, usually in a nonverbal way”

  • Getting the light bulbs fixed
  • Serving breakfast in bed
  • Ensuring the house is in order
  • Assisting to prepare a presentation

It is important to note here that acts of service should not be taken as slavery. After all, there is a difference between wanting to help and slavery.

GIFTS

This language is being attributed to women only, but that is wrong. Many men love gifts. Contrary to what people think, people with this love language are not materialistic. Those in this group believe that gifting means that you were thinking about them and it put/will put a smile on your face. 

You do not have to wait until a certain time or festival to be given a gift. Like other languages, people in this language love spontaneity and express their love through gifts. It is important to listen to what they say in passing, and take notes. 

  • “I would love to have that white dress”
  • “A PS5 as a gift for my birthday is all I need”
  • “A box of chocolate will do the trick”
  • “Chocolate over flowers”

On the other side of the clock, Showing our partner love and lacking it on your own part, is not healthy for a relationship. It can cause us to feel unloved, insecure and even lose it and break up.

Before going into a relationship, have conversations with your potential partner; know his or her love languages and ensure the energy is sparking.

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