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Note To Self: Who You Are Is Good Enough

By Asilejo Grace Oluwadamilola

24 January 2021   |   9:00 am

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“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete”- Jack Kornfield Living the best life is not about what you have achieved, but about how you have made yourself happy. And being happy is one’s responsibility, which comes from loving yourself unconditionally. Self-love is not negative or unhealthy. Instead, it is necessary to be…

Note To Self: Who You Are Is Good Enough

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete”- Jack Kornfield

Living the best life is not about what you have achieved, but about how you have made yourself happy. And being happy is one’s responsibility, which comes from loving yourself unconditionally.

Self-love is not negative or unhealthy. Instead, it is necessary to be able to give and receive love from other people. If you don’t love yourself, who will? Self-love is having high regard and appreciation for one’s wellbeing and happiness.

Putting yourself first before others is not settling for less than you deserve. Self-love is about accepting the good, bad and ugly sides of yourself.

Self-love is waking up every morning, with a positive mindset, that the day will be a very good one for you. It’s not waking up, feeling sad or inferior because of your body shape, hair colour, or trying to suppress the length of your big nose.

You have got to love the way you look in the mirror, girl! Either black thick skin, be proud of it, be proud of your stretch marks, the big Buble birthmark on your left cheek’… It’s called self-love. Be proud of being the queen of all thick thighs. If you don’t love that thick skin, who will.

It is when you show yourself love and care, that people will give you the respect you deserve.
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously”- Sophia Bush

Everyone needs love, but that love needs to come from you first. When you give yourself the best self-love, you see life from a different perspective, that’s when you know your worth, and that’s when you see how important you are.

Do away with having a negative mindset. Every time there’s that thought of heaviness in your chest, that you will never be enough, you have to be your biggest push. The fact that you have been through what you have been through and your hope to liberate yourself is good enough.

In this kind of world we live in, we alone are the anchors of our life. We shape our lives and future the way we want it to be. And our foundation is self-love. If you have so much doubt in your abilities and are always eager to hear what people think about you, you are really not going to move forward because you are already adjusting “your life schedule to what people think is best for you”.

Self-love is not just about having a positive mindset alone; self-love also revolves around caring about your very own happiness (investing in yourself); it is taking very good care of yourself; wearing nice clothes; eating good food, and smelling nice.

It can be likened to be being obsessed with one’s self in a good way, not caring whether someone loves you or not. The only person who would never get tired of you is you. When the going gets tough, you can’t desert yourself.
Here are five ways in which you can apply your love language for yourself:

Words of Affirmation
Imagine the many possibilities that come with optimism. What will you say when someone does fantastic work or is feeling “too small?” Now use those words on yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. If possible, write down all our strengths, and accomplishments you can remember, give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it!

Acts of Service
Cheers to yourself. Learn to pamper yourself. Organise your environment, prepare your favourite do what you love to do. But don’t think of it as a reward, think “I deserve the love I give.”

Receiving Gifts
Plan a getaway, invest in things that you love, volunteer to become a resource tool. The point is, gift yourself the best version of yourself.

Quality Time
Try Yoga, explore your hobbies, revitalize, make out time for yourself.

Physical Touch
Consider enjoying the perks of a spa day, a warm shower, and pampering yourself with aromatic oils, you are worth the care you offer yourself.

Life will not be all rosy all the time no doubt, but the ups and downs are what makes us strong. And offers us the opportunity to make use of the experience to learn and relearn from the dark past we left behind.

Putting the past behind is very important, letting go most importantly. The past is what makes us hopeful for a better future.