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Relationship 101: Crazy First Date Stories

Nothing sticks to your memory like a date from hell; have fun reading this weird first date experiences.


Two months ago I met a guy on Facebook, we had a mutual friend and after a while; we got talking. It was all good for weeks as we only chat, no calls.

After Christmas, I stopped by at Abeokuta on my way to Ibadan; I told him and he said he will meet me in Abeokuta. We fixed a venue, mind you, I told him I could afford Coldstone ice cream, and we should meet there. He said he didn’t like the place, and he preferred a restaurant; we agreed on a restaurant. I told him I can’t afford the place; he said he’s fine. He got it covered.

I got to Abeokuta, and I called; he changed plans at the last minute and we went to a lounge instead, a popular one, on getting to the lounge, he looked different from the pictures and the impression I had about him, he even had the Abeokuta accent.

He asked what I wanted and at that point, someone ordered fried rice beside our table, I was trying to check the Menu when he picked up his drink to cover his mouth and said I shouldn’t order rice because he had no money.

I laughed it off and closed the menu. I left a while later without drinking even water, he later offered to pay my transport fare, I refused and that was the end. I felt good and now we only talk on WhatsApp with more respect.



I met this guy on my way to my uncle’s house; we walked together for a while. He was Yoruba and spoke the language fluently, which attracted me.

He seemed smart too. On my street, he wanted to collect my number, but he wasn’t with a phone, I offered to collect his number so I can call him later, but he said no, that he wants to be the one to call first. He called me a while later and ignored him.

On another day, he called to inform me he was parked in front of my street gate, and that I should come out. I didn’t feel good about it, but I didn’t want to disappoint him again, so went out he was talking too much, I started to yawn.

So, he said he wanted to see my pictures; I gave him my phone; he was going through my gallery, then he said he wanted to call a waiter. Baba went to call a waiter, he sat down again. He went to call the waiter again, this time my phone was already in his pocket. I didn’t want to embarrass him by asking for my phone often; I decided to chill; he went downstairs again, this time he didn’t return, I waited for about 30 minutes before it hit me, he had absconded with my phone.


I met this guy a while back and he asked me out, so I picked a venue close to my office. On the agreed date, I left the office after my boss left. Just after our orders arrived my boss called and said he forgot his key and was on his way back to the office, I was confused, I didn’t want to leave my date or lie, so I explained the situation to him and he asked me to go see my boss. On returning to the restaurant, it was like a scene out of Nollywood, he started scolding me, asking how I thought it was right to leave him on at a restaurant on a first date. Long story short we dated for a while after but eventually broke up.


I met this girl on Instagram and we’ve been talking for a while before we finally decided to go on the first date. Due to the because of our level of conversation, I kind of opened up to her about my financial issues, I was dead broke at that time. On this fateful day, I went to pick her at her office in Lekki and I asked her to take me to the cheapest joint, where we could eat something within my budget. So we went to this really classy restaurant around Lekki Phase 1, I made my order and it was around N1400 I had just N5,000 for this date and me spending N1,400 means I have N3,600 to play with. Lo and behold when she ordered her food it ran over N4,000. Plus, her food was so much that they served her with three plates. I would have faced real embarrassment if not for the petty change I had in the car. That was the last time we saw or spoke. We just like each other’s pictures on Instagram now.

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