Single and Shy? Six Ways to Change That
You’d be amazed by the number of women that are introverts. A lot of women’s performance at work is motivated by status, accolades, money, or simply wanting to be the best. But in their social life, they would rather not have to be forced to speak or talk to anyone new. To them it takes more energy and a conscious effort than they care to be bothered with.
Here are six tips for all of the introverts to help you come out of your shell in social settings and meet someone awesome.
1. Tell yourself over and over, “These people have no idea who I am”
When in a new environment, don’t be alarmed and talk yourself out of walking up to the restaurant bar or looking up, smiling and saying hello to a complete stranger. The chances of them remembering you low, think about a time when you were at an event with hundreds of people there, by the next day you probably couldn’t recall anyone who was there or what they were doing. So relax, grab a seat, mingle, and enjoy the eye candy and great conversation.
2. They are mere humans just like you
They are not any different from you, so don’t be intimidated by them. Some of them are just as afraid of approaching you as you are of them. Just think that if neither one of you take a chance to smile or look approachable, you are both guaranteed to go home without contact information. After all, you ARE hoping to meet new people right?
3. Meeting new people will only expand your network
You say you already have enough friends and you don’t have the room in your life for any new ones. We feel there is always room to expand your network. You never know who you may meet. Your new female friend may have guy friends that may be a great match for you. Additionally, it’s nice to have a variety of single friends to travel or attend events with.
4. Practice walking up to someone and giving him or her a compliment
There is nothing better than a random compliment to brighten someone’s day. It boosts their confidence, somehow broaden their shoulders. Giving compliments are also a safe conversation starter that gives just enough of an open door to someone else to continue a conversation they may have been hoping to have with you.
5. Brighten up your wardrobe
If you’re an introvert, black, brown, navy and gray colors are not helping you to get noticed. Help yourself by wearing warm and inviting colors that say, “Hello, I’m here, I’m open to meeting new people, and it’s ok to approach me” before you even say a word.
6. Every action in life does not have to have a purpose
We’ve realized that many introverts have to plan every aspect of their lives and each move they make has to have a purpose. The challenge here is that mingling in a social environment will most likely never make clear sense because you don’t know who you’ll meet and what they can add to your life if anything. So throw all of these purposeful thoughts out of the window. The only purpose to meeting new people is just that, to meet new people. As long as you have strategically planned to socialize at places where there are people with similar interests, hobbies, education level if applicable, etc, just mingle and keep an open mind. See where the conversation takes you and just be along for the ride. You’ll most often be pleasantly surprised with friends or experiences you have in common.
Get the latest news delivered straight to your inbox every day of the week. Stay informed with the Guardian’s leading coverage of Nigerian and world news, business, technology and sports.