Love and Relationships  

4 Ways To Resolve Conflicts In A Relationship

By Modupeoluwa Adekanye

03 August 2019   |   9:30 am

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Conflicts can be draining in a relationship, especially if it involves two people who are not ready to let things go or two people who are always in the right. It takes a lot of maturity to settle things amicably in a relationship. Below are some steps to take to settle your differences amicably: Identify…

Young black couple feeling sad after arguing on sofa at home.

Conflicts can be draining in a relationship, especially if it involves two people who are not ready to let things go or two people who are always in the right. It takes a lot of maturity to settle things amicably in a relationship.

Below are some steps to take to settle your differences amicably:

Identify the problem

Don’t just go on and on about nothing, you and your partner should have a sit and discuss the issues that are causing problems in your relationship. You can do that over a cup of wine, the environment must be relaxed. Do talk about underlying worries and issues that contribute to the problem you’re trying to solve. And do listen carefully to your partner’s concerns. Keep an open mind. Learn all you can about your own concerns and your partners’.

Be direct

Be direct when discussing issues with your partners. You may may speak to your partner in a way that is condescending and implies underlying hostility. Other times, you may mope and pout without really addressing an issue. Your partner may also simply avoid discussing a problem by quickly switching topics when the issue comes up or by being evasive. Such indirect ways of expressing anger are not constructive, because you don’t give the person who is the target of your behaviors a clear idea of how to respond.

Listen

When your partner is complaining about some things, it is always good to listen. It becomes a bigger problem when they notice you are not concerned about their feelings. When you interrupt your partner or assume that you know what they’re thinking, you’re not giving them a chance to express themselves.

Avoid contempt

Contemptuous remarks are those that belittle your partner. This can involve sarcasm and name-calling. It can also include nonverbal behavior like rolling your eyes or smirking. Such behavior is extremely disrespectful, and implies that you’re disgusted with your partner.

However, when all your efforts to solve issues amicably with your partner is being rejected, then it might be time to take a hint.

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