Motherhood is a joyous and intriguing journey. It comes with its pros and cons. For some women, there is a noticeable decline in sexual desire, a phenomenon influenced by various physical, hormonal, emotional, and relational factors. For others, it is a completely opposite situation. But understanding why your urge for sexual intimacy drops will help you know how to tackle and improve it. As Chinua Achebe said, there is a peaceful home when the bed constantly shakes.
Why you experience low libido
Postpartum hormonal fluctuations play a significant role in diminishing libido. Decreased estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness, making intercourse uncomfortable.
Additionally, elevated prolactin levels, which facilitate breast milk production, may suppress sexual desire. Dr. Roland Akhigbe, a specialist in postpartum health, categorises these influences into physical consequences such as trauma during birth and hormonal changes.
The postpartum period often brings emotional challenges that can impact sexual interest. Feelings of fatigue, stress, and the responsibility of caring for a newborn can diminish a woman’s libido. The Mayo Clinic notes that significant life changes, including pregnancy and childbirth, can lead to fluctuations in sexual desire.
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The shift in relationship dynamics after welcoming a child can also affect sexual desire. Couples may struggle to find time for intimacy amidst new parenting responsibilities. Experts from Texas Children’s Hospital emphasise the importance of maintaining the marital relationship, suggesting that without sexual intimacy, partners may feel more like roommates or co-parents rather than a couple.
Expert opinions
Healthcare professionals advocate for open communication between partners to address changes in sexual desire postpartum. Dr. Roland Akhigbe recommends understanding the multifaceted reasons behind low libido, including physical trauma from birth and hormonal shifts.
Incorporating strategies such as scheduling intimate time can also be beneficial. Experts from Texas Children’s Hospital also suggest that setting aside specific times for intimacy can help couples reconnect and prioritise their relationship amidst the demands of parenthood.
Strategies to improve
Motherhood can make you lose yourself completely, but you must not. Be in control by engaging in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as exercise, adequate rest, and mindfulness practices. If you need to leave the children with a trusted person to make time for your partner, do it.
Sex retreat
A sex retreat can also help you regain your passion for sex after childbirth. Take two to three days and plan an intimate getaway. Recall your honeymoon nights and talk dirty to reignite your sexual connection with your partner.
Openly communicate with your partner
In all matters, open communication works! There is also a tendency for your soft spots to change after childbirth. Communicate this with your partner. By doing so, it’s easier to know what turns you on. Put your mind to it and be in the moment, enjoying every touch.
