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On Discharging Babes And Nigerian Women Embracing Their Inner Mouso

By Oreoritse Tariemi
23 February 2022   |   5:11 pm
Sexual liberation and the Nigerian society are worlds apart.     The idea that a woman can own her sexuality and express herself sexually in whatever ways, positions and partners she desires is considered indecent.  In our predominantly patriarchal society, women are urged to be seen and not heard. Prevented from speaking, what they do in…

Sexual liberation and the Nigerian society are worlds apart. 

 

 

The idea that a woman can own her sexuality and express herself sexually in whatever ways, positions and partners she desires is considered indecent. 

In our predominantly patriarchal society, women are urged to be seen and not heard. Prevented from speaking, what they do in bed is left unspoken; hence, sexual liberation remains one force that shakes the Nigerian society into her roots. 

A simple picture highlighting one’s God-given curves is viewed as immoral, and 95% of the time leaves many cis-men foaming at the mouth, creating long threads on why the body is God’s temple and should be treated as such. 

Yet, as feminism and individualism continue to grow amongst women in the Nigerian society, it is no surprise to see sexual liberation follow suit. 

Hence, now seems like a better time than ever to strike up a conversation on whether or not it is time for the average Nigerian woman to find her inner Mosuo. 

The Mosuo Woman

A fierce representation of a sexually liberated matriarchal society, the Mosuo people found high in the Himalayas are living proof that female sexual liberation is not unheard of and does not mark the end of an era.

For the Tibetan Buddhists, their anachronistic patriarchal society places the woman as equal if not superior to men. For the Mosuo people, the concept of marriage, divorce and forever are rare and almost nonexistent. 

Built on an age-long tradition of ‘walking marriages’, Mosuo women choose and change their partners at will. They hold no commitment to a particular partner and may desire any of the men within the community, the only sign being cloth hung outside their doors as a signal for other men to keep away. 

This practice known as tisese ‘translates to ‘back & forth.’

A purely consensual practice, tisese allows women to invite men they take an interest in into their private sleeping room. However, there are no obligations that he accepts the invitation. In the same way, these men are also allowed to express their feelings for women they are interested in and can only visit them once consent is given. 

The typical Mosuo man spends the night at the woman’s and heads back to his mother’s home early in the morning. This is not to say that exclusivity is nonexistent; however, the decisions to ‘commit’ must be accepted by both parties involved. 

When’s the right time to leave after sex in present-day? 

A recent conversation on Nigerian Twitter brought to light the various strategies often adopted by men in attempts to ‘discharge women’ from their homes. 

Several male users took to the social media platform to reveal that they had concocted lies, woken up their partners as late as midnight to ask them to leave, while some outrightly shared that they had asked them to leave immediately after intercourse. 

These revelations struck up sub-conversations on when’s the right time to leave after casual sex. 

Some ladies revealed that they prefer to leave almost immediately, while others admitted to waking up to cook, clean, and even spending some extra days before leaving.

While it would be unrealistic to say there is a fixed time frame on when it’s time to ‘dip’ after causal sex, it frankly depends on the type of relationship you have with the other party. 

But it is always a good idea to leave as soon as possible.

Nigerian Woman Taking Charge 

While sexual activities have in the past been limited to the homes of men and their sexual preferences, now seems a better time than ever for women to take charge.

In the demand for sexual liberation, it is seemingly time for Nigerian women to begin to take full control of their sexual lives. Other than worrying about what time to leave, how to leave and doing the ‘walk of shame’ in the early hours of the morning, now seems a better time than ever to start embracing our inner mosuo. 

It’s 2022 and now seems a better time than ever to create sexual experiences that not only benefit us individually but also ensures it is done in our safe space and at our own time with the partner of our choice. 

It is also important to note that while not all parts of the Mosuo walking marriages can/should be adopted, the idea of sexual liberation included in the tisese practice cannot be ignored. The underlying concept of choosing one’s partner and not having to worry about being left stranded after intercourse should be the main focus.