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September to remember and all that Jazz

By Sam Umukoro
11 September 2021   |   12:39 am
“Have you being following the drama this month on social media?’’ “I have been too busy working on that project I told you about.” “Have you seen King of Boys on Netflix?” “No time man, school fees season, my focus is on what will bring me money.’’ “You want to tell me you are so…

“Have you being following the drama this month on social media?’’
“I have been too busy working on that project I told you about.”
“Have you seen King of Boys on Netflix?”
“No time man, school fees season, my focus is on what will bring me money.’’
“You want to tell me you are so busy that you don’t have time for madam in the other room”
“My brother, yes o, when I think about the school fees my equipment fails me.’’
“Hehe, you are a very funny man, just like that governor who reportedly said that whenever he is in the other room with his wife and he remembers the displaced people in his state, he goes flat.’’

“Please he didn’t say that, you are back again with your stories.’’
“See, you have not been following the news”
“Well not your kind of news about connubial bed and erectile dysfunction.”
“Talking about connubial bed, I bet you also didn’t follow the drama between your favourite singer and his wife.’’
“The country is full of drama, you can’t keep up man.”
“Well I agree, more reason why I subscribe to the view that Netflix, Amazon and Apple TV should look no further for content. Nigeria can generate enough content to keep their viewers entertained.’’

“Really, you think the rest of the world would be entertained? Trust me they will be shocked not entertained.”
“You will be surprised, what people find engaging.’’
“You mean what they find ludicrous and preposterous?’’
“Dude, there are real possibilities here; okay let’s check out some stories that can be developed into TV series, documentaries, short or feature films. Remember the story about the snake that ate millions of naira?”
“Yes I do, the one where a clerk in the examination board told auditors that a snake ate 36 million naira.’’
“Exactly, so imagine if a screenplay is written from that story.’’
“I don’t get it, what would be the premise?’’
“What if the snake is not really a snake but an evil princess who can change into anything to achieve her desire?’’
“Not convinced, but carry on.”
“Remember that story where authorities in a state said that dogs and prayers sessions will be part of the new security set-up to protect students from criminals and abductions?’’
“How would that make a good movie?’’

“A movie starts with a good premise, compelling story and plot. We have a good story here; one that will resonate with viewers across the world, especially in the west where people like dogs.”
“I’m all ears, your premise better be good”
“After discovering that perimeter fencing and security guards cannot protect public schools, the state government recruits a team of five misfits who have dogs with supernatural powers. Aha, I can see I have your attention now. Let me give you more examples.’’
“Recently, a minster reportedly said that he thought doctors in Nigeria were playing a prank when they embarked on an industrial action.”
“Did a minister really make that statement or he was quoted out of context?’’
“That is not our focus here, we are looking at story ideas for screenplays.”
“Please don’t be annoyed, continue filmmaker”
“An infectious disease has been detected in the country and if not stopped would spread quickly. The only doctor in the country who is an expert in treating this disease has just been offered an opportunity of a lifetime in Canada. He has only 48 hours to leave the country. He is torn between leaving with his family or staying back to save lives.’’

“What did the doctor do?’’
“My guy, you are already hooked. Shouldn’t I just make a career switch and join the likes of Kemi Adetiba?”
“Don’t deceive yourself, stick to accounting’’
“Na you sabi. When I start making money from content creation, I will buy you any whisky of your choice.”
“What kind of friend are you? People are buying cars for their friends, but you want to buy me ogogoro when you make it?’’
“As I was saying, we have so many stories to make good screenplays. In fact, I am sure we have more than 8 million stories. This September alone, I have counted over 100 news stories that will make the cut. We can turn them into a TV series entitled: September to Remember.’’
“Please leave me alone, let me focus on what will give me money for school fees.”

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