Have Men Lost The Art Of Chasing Women?

I SAW him approach from the opposite direction, a man I judged to be in his forties. He was neatly dressed in printed wax jumper. There was evidence of a successful man in his jaunty steps. I thought he was a businessman because he did not wear a suit as is common on that part of the Marina where corporate dressing appears to be the norm.

But business must have been particularly good that day because of the satisfied look on his face. The confident look suggested a man who lived by his own rules.

It must have been my unconsciously taking in all these about this stranger that made miss -until the entanglement; I did not see her at all. Therefore I could not say from which direction she materialized from. At this too, I was quite close to my ‘object of interest’, but surprisingly, I noticed that he was locked in an embrace with a woman at this time of fading dusk; it was late, around 7p.m when workers had almost deserted the area. I am sure he took advantage of the loneliness at this time.

He held this tiny girl, a wisp of a thing; you could call her a fly-of –a-thing so closely- she was that tiny; he took the advantage of her size too, I guessed. She wore a white long sleeve blouse and black skinny jeans.

At first, they looked like a couple in a mutual kiss, holding her so closely and she staring up at him. But then he gave her two sharp knocks at the back of the head which were followed by two resounding slaps on both cheeks. I gave kudos to my fly-of-girl because she retaliated; but not hitting the big man who would have made a minced meat of her. She incapacitated him, neutralizing him by gripping the neck of his dress. She yanked hard, pulling both dress and thick gold chain. The movement rendered him helpless as he could not move at all, even to breathe appeared to be difficult because his gold chain.

She held him until two men ran up and tried to prise her hands lose. But they could not and they were also embarrassed to look at the girl in the face. All the while though, they were pleading with the man, calling him “Alhaji! Alhaji”. But I saw the shame they felt for their man.

When the girl had enough – she had not said a single thing since all these went on – she released him. And as she made to leave, I asked her if they knew each other before that public display; they did not know, she said. She had never seen him until that day. She had closed from work and was at the bus stop when her boss called her back; she was rushing to answer her boss’s call when the man seized her, she explained.

“I explained that my boss wanted to see me, but he would not hear.”

However, that incident caused to wonder why a man who should have women at his ‘beck and call’ could do that. You call a woman, a total stranger, she refuses your advances and you resort to beating her? What makes him entitled to know any woman who catches his fancy? What does he expect from a woman whom he needs to batter before she agrees to go out with him? The use of force on women has to be his style; I am sure. It has to be his habit. If that girl had not put up a resistance, where did he intend to take her to; a pepper soup joint? And after they have had that refreshment and with fear in her eyes, what would he do to her next?

I think that this is a behavior that should be condemned because although, I hesitate to say this, it is another form of violence against women. He has much regard for womanhood. I therefore see it as a serious crime. Women and children disappear and are never found and perpetrators of such evil are never brought to book.

And he could have inflicted serious injuries on her too with those knocks at the back of the head. This is to remind guys that wooing or chasing a girl has not gone out of style and that all it takes is the right approach. You can meet her anywhere. If you think that you are the best thing to happen to a woman, you would not win her hands if you say the wrong things.

If you see a girl you like, say ‘hello’, she may not respond at that time. But take note of where you saw her. Chances are that you will come across her again. If it is at work or close to where you live, look out for the opportunity to ‘bump’ into her again. If you know each other already, move closer by helping her with little chores; she may think that you are just being friendly until it dawns on her that your interest is romantic. She may respond in like manner and encourage you. But she will run if her heart does not flutter at the sight of you. But men understand this attitude of ‘why pursue one woman when there are many out there?’