The Guardian
Email YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter WhatsApp

Having A Soulmate


RelationshipI USED to believe that each person has a soulmate; that one person that you are meant to be with, a partner who you share so many common things with.

But now, I think it is all a sham. That is quite a confession, seeing as I am a love doctor, as some of my friends and colleagues call me.

Am I not supposed to support all things love related, especially if they give everyone hope that there is a significant other out there that is especially lined up for them in this and every other lifetime? Emmm, no! I am supposed to give everyone hope that there are thousands of people out there, any one of whom would be a perfect match.

For singles, it is the unending search for the perfect person and the perfect relationship, constantly striving and never quite finding.

For people in relationships, it manifests as one or both of them feeling that they married the wrong person and that is because it is not their version of perfect and that it must be a mistake and that they should look for someone new, their ‘real soulmate.’

I do not believe in soulmates because life is not perfect all of the time, neither are relationships. It saddens me to see so many people spending most of their time searching for something that likely they will never find (perfection). I want everyone to be in happy, healthy, joyful and loving marriages.

I believe that for every one person, there are hundreds or even thousands of people on the planet who can make them blissfully happy. I do not think for one minute that there is only one person out there for each of us. If that were so, then the world would have even more unhappy single people in it.

Imagine how hard and fruitless the search would be if you were faced with looking for the one person who you are ‘meant to be with.’ It is a world that I would not want to live in, honestly. The world is just too darn big for there to be only one person in it that is meant for us.

Now, settling for second best is not the answer either. So, if we believe that there are lots of people out there, each of whom could make you extremely happy, then why would you want to tie yourself down and settle for second best?

If you do this, as sure as eggs is eggs, you will end up wanting to leave and you may well use the ‘I have found my soulmate’ excuse to do just that.

Far better to carefully consider your options and your relationships and ask yourself if you are truly happy or if you have simply found yourself being carried along with the flow, i.e. you meet someone, you get on, you have quite good intercourse, you end up living together, you possibly end up with kids you were not planning, people start asking when you are getting married, one of you proposes, the other says yes, you get married, then you realise you just got carried along with the inevitability of it all.

It was not bad enough to stop and get off the ride, so you just stayed put. That is a scary and sad life that I am seeing more and more people living these days. Just settling? No-No!

You have a world full of choices when it comes to the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. Choose wisely my dear.

Receive News Alerts on Whatsapp: +2348136370421

No comments yet