Re- ‘How Long Do I Give Him Space And/Or Time To Think About Things?’
I know how you feel because I’ve been there. If he needs time, that’s all you can give him. You can’t really put number on the amount of days or months.
I know this doesn’t exactly help. Rushing back into things after he’s asked for time will only lead to another fall-out. It’s hard to wait for someone because you may end up getting hurt in the end.
Just keep the communication lines open; give him the time he needs and hopefully when he is ready, he will contact you. Julie My question to ask you though, do you still see each other and do the bf/gf stuff while you’re not in a relationship? If so, I’d make sure to keep your distance and apply the No contact rule.
When you keep hanging out with him, in hopes of getting back together, you’re giving him that intimate connection he wants without fully experiencing the consequence of him choosing to break up with you.
In other words, you are allowing him to have his cake and eat it too! It’s not fair to you and he’s only going to benefit from having you around without actually being IN a relationship with you. What makes you think he’ll want the commitment of a relationship if he already has the benefits of one without actually being in a relationship? These are just thoughts to think of.
I hope things work out for you. Thanks Nikky I agree that you shouldn’t be intimate until you know things are back on track with you guys. Although it is so tempting to express yourself and be close to them, it only blurs things in the end. Space can be a healthy thing. As long as you keep communication on what the space means.
If it is “hey, I need space” and they don’t really contact you, it is best to get an honest answer on how you should respond. If it seems that they just want space, but want to be with you and work things out, then let them know that it would be nice have some kind of contact in the passing days to check how they’re doing.
Neutral spots like coffee shops or places where other people are is a good way to spend time together, but keep a less tense environment. Intimacy isn’t going to be an issue and then you can chat and relax. It’s also important, though, to keep yourself clear on what you want and need.
You don’t just want to be a comfort to someone. Even though they may not necessarily mean to be treating you as such, it can easily be done. If you want a relationship and don’t want to be (or need time before you can be) friends, then they need to know that.
If they just want to be friends and you would like to be also, I would give yourself ample time to get to a position where you aren’t just dragging out your remaining romantic feelings.
As much as you care about them, you come first. Be clear with your needs and feelings, and if they can’t return that, then they aren’t caring for you the way they should and aren’t respecting you. I hope you figure things out either way. All you need is time and time will certainly bring someone else along Rukky