Taking It From Valentine

LUCKY you, finally you’ve got a date from this dashing guy that you have been dying to meet. And to crown it all, you were his Valentine date. The date was fun, much better than you dared to believe. Now, you feel on top of the world because he has asked you out again.

  You have always believed that you are sensible and, concerning this man, you know that you would love to see him again and again if it is possible. Naturally you are wondering how to proceed and not make a mistake on this second date.

   It is okay to feel nervous about this second date. The first time is always formal; you have made that first impression but it is really about you and you are occupied with thoughts about how to enjoy the date and probably never see each other again if there is no click.      

  You want to dress to please yourself, mostly. And on Valentine’s Day, you have dressed to the nine and behaved formally towards each other.

  But you know that you can’t continue in this way. That is why the second date is very important; this is when you will see the person as he really is and he, too, will also have a glimpse of this chic he has built much fantasy around and who appears within reach now. 

  If you have truly fallen in love on Valentine’s Day, you will have more proof on the second date. But how can you enjoy it? How do you impress him further?

   Think relaxation; he has seen you in that ball gown at the dinner and is possibly still smiling at the mere thought of you floating like a fairy in your lovely dress. Give him more surprise at this second meeting by turning up in a lighter mood. 

  Your cool appearance in a formal gown testifies of a feminine woman who is ready to be toasted. Your light dress this time around says that you are here for fun and you do know how to play. Which man does not understand relaxation?

  You are just discovering each other so it is okay to feel nervous. Relax by thinking about all the reasons you wanted to meet up with him again; they will help you to feel that you are not meeting a stranger, but a friend. 

  If you think of the likelihood of him turning up late or not showing up at all and making you feel embarrassed, arrange to meet in a public place, say a park, not inside a private place where you will be noticed. 

  If you both meet in a busy place, none of you will have to sit alone waiting for a long time or have a hard time leaving when the other person has a reason for not keeping the date.

How Should You Greet? 

  The second time is when you are not sure if you should kiss or wonder if you could hug. Approach him confidently with a smile, just as you would a friend you are happy to see and kiss him on both cheeks as you would a friend. You may prefer to hug or have no such close contact; it is left to you to decide how to greet him. 

  A firm handshake may be in order at this stage, too. Whichever, the way you welcome him has melted the ice and put you and him in the mood for relaxation.  And you can feel relaxed and playful with him.

Ask Questions

  Pay a great deal of attention to him; you are there because you want to know him, ask him questions about himself, you want him as your boyfriend, it is when you see him the second time that you know if he is the one you seek. 

  His answers, the way he talks about his friends would reveal his way of relating to people or how he would behave as part of a couple. 

  Dig into the background, but remember that you are here to have a pleasant time and indulge as it is allowed. Do not forget to give him a peep into the heart of this wonderful girl who can make a man happy.

  If you feel close to him already, ask him about previous relationships. It is natural to be curious that he is with you at this moment; it would not be out of place, therefore, to ask what caused the other relationship to break up. 

  His answer will reveal his true character as a lover. If he claims that she was the cause of their parting ways, he may not be one you can depend upon. 

  For example, he may not want to work on issues because he thinks that he is right all the time and his girlfriend is wrong.

End of the Evening

  If you have enjoyed yourself, mention it. Thank him, but not so much so that he feels uncomfortable or thinks he has done too much, that would make him nervous.

  If you want to see him again, suggest what you would like to do another time; he would be happy. Pick an event that would help you to bond, an activity that involves the two of you. 

  You can go sight-seeing together; if he suggests football and you can’t stand it, think of one activity that two of you will enjoy. Exhibitions are becoming very common, why not check some out at The Freedom Park or go to the National Theatre? It is too early to compromise on individual hobbies.

  If you want to kiss him, do so; do not be afraid to make the first move. If you feel confident that he likes you, give him that kiss. If you think that you are not ready, wait until you feel that you can. Be aware though that you cannot be said to be in a relationship at this stage. 

  So, keep other options open; accept other dates. Your Valentine is probably doing just that-checking other women before he commits.

   If it proceeds beyond this date, bear these relationships rules at heart; they are meant to guide and guide you from mistakes which may mar all your loving relationships for a long time:

  You are not in a relationship with a particular person until you have seen each other for about six months; you are therefore mere dates.

  Until you fall in love with him and he confesses his love for you, you don’t have a relationship.

  Until you dated continuously for more that one year, you are not in love. You may be infatuated or in lust, but you can’t say that you are in love.

    Explore each other more, know what this person can do in time of stress or when crisis threatens you; if he/she has the staying power, love may come at this time. 

  But until then, be patient and enjoy each other’s company. The sex may be an obstacle to discovering the real human beings, so put it off for when you are ready and can handle the result.