Simple Philosophies That Can Make Your Relationship Tick
THIS write-up concerns women especially. Many times they are the ones who get left behind in a relationship. Boy meets girls, they court and marry. Girl becomes a mother and finds that her availability to jive is less; her time is shared by her children and hubby whose demands seem to increase so suddenly.
This past week, I listened as a woman repeatedly told another: “I was once like you”. I turned to look at them and saw that two men were with there with them and that the much younger woman was unabashedly enjoying the attention from the two men. There was no hostility from the older woman who could be in her early forties. She was tall, ebony black and strikingly beautiful; which could not be said of the girl who was not particularly pretty. Like the older woman, she wore trousers too.
However, “once like you” made me realize how some women give up their likes when they are in a relationship and adopt the attitude ‘I was once this bubbly and carefree girl, but I am no longer that, because of the demands of marriage.’
Women who give this message to others are wrong, I think. I believe that a fruitful and healthy relationship should make you feel on top of the world at any stage and any age. It is wrong to think that a relationship should retard your growth. In the event that it does, however, it shows that you are not with whom you should be.
But it happens that you love your spouse but he falls short of expectation, especially in taking care of you, you can turn things around. Where you still feel the rush of love for him, knowing that he cares deeply as he did when he showered you with gifts and love in the past, you can make your home love filled and the world would know that you are appreciated.
There was this woman who worked in a finance institution. Before she married her heartthrob, he was a successful businessman. Somewhere along their marriage life, misfortune came and he could barely earn an income. This made her the bread-winner, she did not complain but her friends pitied her. Rather than quit, she would give a step by step account to her friends of what he was doing to gain his feet again; without omitting the little gifts he bought his family.
They celebrated these minor minor victories until he found his foot again. Had she given up or worn a mournful look for all to see, he would not have not have succeeded.
Lesson: Never give up. There is always a way out of any problem.
If your life is constantly happy, examine it to see if all is as it should be. You would not want an unpleasant surprise coming at you from unexpected quarters. When trials come, face them together and settle issue as it happens. Don’t waste energy and time thinking about them when you have resolved them.
When you see a problem or feel pain, welcome them; they are there to help you grow stronger. Instead of casting blame, live through the pain with the belief that the experience will make you a better and more understanding person. Instead of thinking that life is unfair to you especially, look at the problem and look at yourself critically you will see where you may have gone wrong and with the new strength and sincerity you will be able to work on your faults and shortcomings.
When you feel provoked to quarrel, do not say anything. Leave the room and stay away from each other. Stay by yourself for some time and look at the cause of the misunderstanding, all the bad words he said to you. You can only have an objective view only after you have gained your composure. Thereafter, you can explain your behavior, if he wants to know. You can also deny the allegations against you if they are false; do this only when he wants to know. Speak in a polite tone. Show maturity by behaving in a controlled way. This way, you would not be angling for a fight unnecessarily.
Do I Still Look Good?
Every woman worries about appearance. But if you look at yourself, you will feel that you are indeed special. Ask any beautiful woman the best part of her anatomy, she would choose one out of her many endowments. Few have ever chosen more than one. And every woman has at least one thing that makes her stand out. Identify yours and build on it. Is it that heart melting smile, polish your teeth even more. Learn to wink, without appearing to do so.
The average Nigerian woman has a good body even when her weight totters on the side of ill health; diet, you will enjoy a better health and gain fantastic curves. And what about dumping those unsuitable beauty treatments products that are unkind to the face and skin. Leave them and go for simple products that allow you to age naturally and gracefully.
Women are nasty to others when they feel that they lack what the person they criticize have. But if you look at the special person that you are, you may find that you are even more blessed than her who has the need to bare her body in order to be noticed.
As for a girl’s body, it comes and goes. You would not have it again once you pass that stage. But the truth is that a matured woman, any woman who keeps her figure well will appreciate herself better as she grows older.
Give your spouse without expecting a reward all the time. If you want him to give back all the time, he may not be able to. The result may be that you feel unloved. Look on any kindness you show as an opportunity to make yourself happy, if you doubt this, look at the people you know who are always complaining of a gift not reciprocated with something they would have appreciated.
Are they always happy? Then think of those who thanked guests for coming at their invitations to feast. Orator would say that if the guests had refused the invitation, the food would have wasted.
Give happily and you will reap happiness in your relationship.