The Art And Science Of Attraction (4)
A PICTURE can say a million words. A picture tells a story. In total communication, body language has a greater effect that what we say and how we say it – put together. If these facts are proven why don’t we utilize it to our best advantage? Your body language reveals what sort of upbringing you have, how much exposure you’ve got, the quality of your personal hygiene, your personal disposition and attitude, etc.
One of the surest ways to get attention in a crowd or make a statement when you do not have the liberty of many words is to send signals with your body. I have seen an upright posture and a serene, patient attitude make a strong mark in a crowded job interview.
Body language includes your posture, carriage, physique, silhouette, scent, expressions, gestures, personal grooming and dressing sense.
Think critically of what signals you which to send out to people and adjust yourself accordingly. You can make good use of body language at home, at a job interview, at work, etc. Personally, I have seen good body language skills work almost very predictable in certain situations where you really couldn’t be heard.
What Message Are You Sending?
Whether you realize it or not or whether you chose to accept it or not, the body is constantly sending signals. Your body language should speak of good manners, sophistication, confidence patience, etc. When you know what message you want others to receive from you, it will be much easier aligning your body language to suit those goals.
The Perfect Frame
There are a few things you ought to remember about posture. When you get these elements right every other, posture, carriage will be align nicely – all things being equal. The first, two things to remember;
Your posture should make you feel alert and aware – not rigid
Your posture should make you feel comfortable and relaxed – not slouchy.
So here are the basics
Stand upright with an aligned spine. This allows the weight of your body to be distributed evenly and gives you an instant body lift – If you feel rigid you aren’t doing it right… frankly it you could hurt yourself in the long run. Let you spine be in its natural alignment not unnaturally arched. This also adds authority to your image
Hold your head high: The best height for your jaw should be at parallels to the ground. When it is too high, it suggests arrogance, and when it is too low and it suggests cowardice or shyness. It takes confidence for a man or for a woman to hold his or her head upright and confidence is just the message you want to send across.
Tummy pulled in: When you pull your tummy in it affects the chest muscles and the lower back muscles. Your chest should have just the right lift without being in-your-face high. Your lower back will also be neatly aligned. This lends balance and keeps you alert and graceful.
Shoulders back: Roll your shoulders back just a bit. This gives your posture a good dose of elegance and refinement.
Your weight should rest on your heels.
For Ladies: Place one feet slightly ahead of the other at 12 O’clock; the other feet should be placed slightly behind, heels together; at an angle.
Gentlemen: The same rules apply, except that the feet are placed apart.
Maintaining this posture in all that you do – walking, stooping low, getting out of a jacket or out of a car will look graceful, confident and attractive.
Other Body Language Tips
I See You
Making eye contact with another human being is a way of validating their existence. You acknowledge a person’s presence by meeting their gaze. In discursions it is an unmistakable statement or gesture of acknowledgement and attention – this factor is of utmost important. However, there is such a thing as a discomforting stare; this can happen when a person is uncomfortable with your presence, or feels like your gaze is bordering on intrusion even when its just a difference in culture!
Whatever the case may be, it is worthwhile for you to pay attention to whoever you are with. Most times, a person’s body language or attitude can give you a clue as to how comfortable the person is. Assess a person and revise your approach if need be. If you perceive a person to be intimidated by your direct gaze, shift your gaze to the bridge between both eyes. Also, avoid holding a gaze for too short a time – less than 4 seconds; it might suggest that you are being deceitful or are uncomfortable with their presence.
A genuine smile is worth so much more than it is generally recognized (The operative word being ‘genuine’). It is a smile that comes from a sincere heart, reaches the eyes and lights up the face. Most often, when such an ethereal smile is seen it is received totally and treasured! Why? Because it is rare! How many beautiful smiles do you honestly remember? Some of the best smiles I have ever received have come from children – a smile is so pleasing to receive from an honest heart! This isn’t far out of reach from adults; you just have to choose to like everyone regardless of whether they are likable or not and reach forth in honesty. Genuine warmth (or love) is capable of melting the hardest of hearts.