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Understanding Men

By Kemi Amushan
07 August 2015   |   7:00 pm
IT is pretty stressful understanding men sometimes, especially when they say one thing and completely mean another.

black-couple1-CopyIT is pretty stressful understanding men sometimes, especially when they say one thing and completely mean another. You get pretty confused when he talks about the future, but has no time to see you. He says you are the one, yet every good-looking woman walking by turns his head.

The difficulties men and women have understanding each other have existed since the beginning of time. Today, the biggest problem is the notion that equality between the genders has somehow caused us to morph into similar beings. Nothing could be farther from the truth!

Men and women are very different. We have different ways of looking at the world, processing information and handling situations. This is coded into our DNA so it is inescapable. But do not dismay, there are ways to decipher confusing situations like this. This is an empowering and objective way to look at dating situations that frees you from time-wasting men who are not relationship material.
What He Does Is All that Matters

It is really this simple. Talk is cheap. Sweet whispers or cute texts take little effort and can be replicated for multiple women. A man only means what he says when he takes steps to follow through. His actions reveal if he is serious about you. His consistent efforts to connect and spend time with you are how you can tell a man cares.

Here are some common situations that frustrate and confuse us women:

* He promises to call on a certain day or time but does not.

*He talks of a getaway together but makes no plans.

*He promises to see you but makes frequent excuses.

*He says he loves you but treats you poorly.

*He wants to hangout but never takes you on a real date.

*He runs hot and cold, keeping you up in the air.

When his actions do not hold up against what he tells you, you know there is a problem. A man who loves you wants to get to know you, spend time with you, and see your smiling face. Being with you is one of his priorities.

Now, there are men who might say they love you and while it could be true, they might not be capable of the kind of love and attention you desire. That matters as well. For a lasting, loving and healthy relationship, you need to find a man who not only has the capacity for that, but the desire as well. Keep in mind I am not saying a man who cannot deliver is bad. He might be a good person, just not the right man for you. He might not want lasting love the way you do and instead prefer something more casual or the chance to sleep with you with no pressure or strings attached. Put simply, your dating agendas might not be aligned.
At The Start Of Dating

If you are seeing a new guy and dating is relatively new, keep an eye out for consistency between what he says and does to know if you should spend more time with him. If weeks go by with only texting and phone calls, he is not serious. If he does not take you out on a proper date, he is not serious. Do what is right for you and move on to date others.
After A Few Months

Consistent action remains a solid indicator of a man’s interest level. If he started out seeing you several times a week and then becomes scare, he is not in for the long haul. If he does not treat you the way you want to be treated, he is not the right man. Be brave and end things so you are free to meet the right man.
Overlook Romance Without Substance

When you start to assess the men you date based on what they do and not what they say, that will clear up nearly every dating mystery. Your job is to not waste time wondering why he did not do something. That is what will drive you crazy and make you miserable. When it comes to understanding men, recognize that his reasons do not matter and you will probably never find out why.

The bottom line is if your guy keeps his word, follows through and shows you through his actions that he cares. Do not be taken in by romance without substance.  Assess a potential mate based on his actions. Follow this simple, yet empowering advice to minimize confusion and stop wasting time with the wrong men who are not looking for the kind of love you want and deserve.
To the loving and kind relationship we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers.

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