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People inspire or drain you, pick them wisely in 2019


• ‘If they are not inspiring you, then they are helping you expire’ -Gbenga Adebambo

The people around you would either fuel you or drain you. So, choose them wisely. I repeat, choose them wisely. This year, you would need to break and make relationships in order to live a fulfilling year. Our major relationship problem is that we often make temporary people permanent, while we make permanent people temporary in our lives. The greatest liability in life is a wrong relationship. One wrong person has the potential to bankrupt your destiny. Beware!

How are they draining you? Some would drain you emotionally; some mentally; some financially, while some would even drain you socially (by cutting you off from empowering relationships).

The most malignant ones drain you spiritually.
Audit your relationships and take an inventory of people who give you energy and those who drain your energy. Try spending more time around people that affirm your worth and help you nurture your potentials. Cut-off people who drain you or set limits and boundaries that would drastically reduce their negative energy around you. This year, look out for people that challenge and stimulate you to be the best at all times.


Your self-worth comes from God. Guard it jealously. Don’t let the way another person treats you determine your worth. How far you would go in the journey of life is a function of the people around you. The company you keep matters. In fact, your company determines what accompanies you in life.

When people have encounters with you, do you leave them drained or blessed?
I made up my mind long time ago to always leave people more inspired than I met them. Take a quick look at the people you don’t normally like picking their calls or people that you love to avoid, you would amazingly realise that the reason behind your action is linked to how they leave you drained after your interactions.Cut-off people that drain your energy and embrace those that create positive vibes around you. There are eight categories of people that you need to let go this year.

The Talkative
Henry Ford said: “You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” You need more actions this year and not ‘talks.’ Conversations with ‘talkatives’ are invariably dominated by one person: them. They are not really interested in what you have to say; they are only concerned about airing their own views and opinions. These people are always full of what they have to say; ‘talkatives’ don’t have listening ears or at least they have become deaf with too much talking. You need more of people that would engage you in intelligent discussions and not just busy bodies and gossipers.

People With Victim’s Mentality
These are people that arouse self-pity, coupled with an insatiable appetite for entitlement. They always believe that their problems are not their fault and always see themselves as victims of life situations. They believe strongly that someone or something is responsible for their predicament. They are not capable of being honest with themselves and accepting responsibility for their lives. They are unable to see how their own steps, actions, inactions and negligence have brought them to where they are presently. Don’t spend the whole of this year throwing ‘pity parties’ for this category of people.

Insecure People
Baylor Barbee said: “Relationships fail because people take their own insecurities and try and twist them into their partner’s flaws.” Insecure people would always put an unhealthy demand on you. Their unhealthy demand for excessive validation and attention can cripple you emotionally.

Negative People
Tom Ziglar said: “Negative people don’t want solutions. Solutions mean they have to work to find something else to be negative about.” Negative people have problems for every solution. They are always full of negativity, even where none exists. They are addicted to negativity. You can’t have positivity in your life this year, while surrounding yourself with negative people. How far you would go in the journey of this year is a function of the positive energy and people around you. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. Try spending more time around people that infuse positivity into you and affirm your worth.

The Ungrateful People
This category of people seldom say the words, “Thank you.” If you want to evaluate a man’s mental state, look at his attitude of gratitude. A man that is mentally healthy believes strongly that there is always something to be appreciated in others. When people don’t appreciate your input in their life, it is time to let them go this year. E-vamps are never grateful; they seldom say the words, ‘Thank you.’

Henry Ford said: “Don’t find fault; find a remedy.” These are people that are always looking out for the faults in others. They are always part of the problem and not the solution. You will definitely need sincere feedbacks from people this year, but not from people with keen eyes for faults and are psychologically blinded to the ‘goods’ in others. Spend more of your time this year with people that help you find solutions and remedies to problems, not fault.


The Manipulators
This category of people would always manipulate you to get what they want. Some people know how to help others live their lives, except their own. Beware of them this year. They obsessively try to control you and dictate how you are supposed to live. They already have a script that they want you to fit into for their selfish interest. Don’t spend this year living another man’s script.

The Narcissist
These are people that believe that everything is always about them. This category believes that the world revolves around them. They are extremely self-centred and always pre-occupied with themselves always.

You would need people that believe in you, people that invest in your dreams and goals, people that would bring the best and not the stress out of you this year.Mark Twain said: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. “When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. “Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.”

In this article:
Gbenga Adebambo
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